Hero Worship Part 1
by Hatake Satsuki
Summary: A forbidden love looms on the horizon, but will it be able to survive? Can one honestly resist what the heart desires? KakashiXSasuke
1. Chapter 1

_Blood._

_Blood everywhere._

_Just don't look. Don't see. This is all a dream. I'll wake up. Mom and Dad will be waiting for me to come down to breakfast. There won't be any blood._

_Why does it smell so strong? Why does it feel so real? Dreams aren't supposed to be this real. Not even a nightmare can be so real._

_What's that sound? Oh no! He's going to come back! No nii-san! No! I don't want to die! Please don't kill me!_

_Arms wrapping around me! This is the end! Please, nii-san! Don't kill me!_

_"It's over now. You're safe. I'll never let anyone hurt you."_

_Who...? What...? Where's Itachi? Have I died? Am I in Heaven? No, if I were in Heaven I'd not still smell so much blood. Someone's carrying me. This can't be Heaven. What's happening!? I don't understand! Why can't I just wake up!?_

_"Take care of the boy. He's all that is left. I have to go back. We've got to find the one who did this."_

_Anbu mask. It's the Anbu Black Ops. White hair. He has white hair. Who is he? I must know!_

_Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone! I'm still so scared! Please! Come back!_

* * *

Sasuke snaps awake and sits up, letting the blanket tumble to the ground, his hand already groping a kunai in his shuriken pouch. He doesn't remember the dream. At least, not all of it. He remembers blood and fear. Terror really. Simple, black terror. Assuming it was related to the hellish mission they'd just finished, he thinks nothing of it. Looking around at his two sleeping teammates to ground himself back into reality and wash away the last vestiges of the dream, Sasuke draws a deep breath of the crisp night air and lets it out in a silent sigh of relief.

A deeper probing of the shadows around the small camp shows Sasuke the silhouette of his sensei, Kakashi Hatake. He sits looking at the man's shape for a few moments, musing over the nightmare. He usually didn't have nightmares, no matter how tough the mission was. The only nightmare he'd ever had was about the night his clan was slaughtered, and he hadn't had that nightmare since he was a kid. He'd suppressed most of the memories of that horrible night. The only thing he allowed himself to remember was the feeling of strong arms holding him so tight, making him feel safe in a world gone completely wrong. He never knew who the Anbu agent was that pulled him out of that hell, and likely never would. He knew only that the man had white hair and spoke with an easy calm that was utterly relaxing.

Sasuke is drawn out of his musings by movement in the shadows. When his eyes focus once more on Kakashi, he sees that the older man has moved closer to the camp so that he was more than a silhouette now. Sasuke could see his face, or what there was to be seen that wasn't covered with that mask he always wore. Not for the first time, Sasuke found himself wondering why his sensei kept his face covered at all times with that mask. He wondered what the man looked like under the mask. Sasuke imagined he was quite handsome because he really had a spectacular body. Blushing, Sasuke finally tears his gaze away from his sensei and stares down at his blanket, trying to clear his mind just as Kakashi speaks quietly across the short distance.

"Sasuke? Why are you awake? Is something wrong?"

"No Kakashi-Sensei. Nothing wrong. I think maybe I just miss my own bed."

"Ah, well, worry not, I'll have you back in your own bed tomorrow night. We're not far from Konoha. You really should try to sleep, we've still got a long day of hard travel ahead of us to get us back to Konoha."

Sasuke lays back and pulls the blanket over himself once more without reply. He lays on his back, head pillowed on his pack once more, staring up at the stars twinkling in the chill night air above him. It's a long while before sleep claims him again, and the thoughts of a white haired Anbu and a certain white haired sensei, follow him down into his sleep, and his dreams are much more pleasant this time, though forgotten with the first light of morning.


	2. Chapter 2

The following evening Sasuke found himself exhausted, yet unable to stop pacing through his room. He didn't know what had him worked up so much, and he couldn't make himself sit still no matter how much he might want to. The nightmare from the evening before was still with him. He could remember nothing but the fear. The fear of the dream, but more so the fear that had followed him out of the dream. It was irrational fear, but then that was the kind that always held on the longest. Again and again as he made continuous circuits through his room, Sasuke found his thoughts turning back to his vague memories of the white haired Anbu ninja that had rescued him eight years before. He still wanted to know who that man had been, but despaired of ever knowing.

Sasuke had thought of the man frequently when he was a child. His adoration of his rescuer was at first the unthinking obsession of someone who thought himself on the very cusp of death only to be pulled back at the last possible second. This man was god-like to him in his child's mind. As he went through his ninja training classes his obsession mellowed into a simple desire to himself become one of the Anbu ranks when he was older. As he grew older, that adoration grew and bloomed into a love that Sasuke didn't understand at first. Rather than think about this love, he concentrated on his studies and his training, something he could understand perfectly.

When Sasuke's team was assigned four years before he began the process that would help him understand that love. He'd always known that the girls in school always watched him, blushing and squealing and calling their love to him whenever he was near. He paid little attention to any of them. He wasn't interested, and was too busy with his studies besides. When Sakura Haruno was assigned to his team he felt her excitement and adoring looks just as well as he heard her cries of delight, and the groans of disappointment of the other girls. It somehow worked through his preoccupation with his future what exactly Sakura's attentions meant. He understood that she was in love with him in much the same fashion he was in love with that mysterious Anbu agent. He was still thinking on this the following afternoon when their new sensei walked into the room where they waited. When the door slid open and the white haired, masked ninja walked in, the world closed down around Sasuke. Nothing else existed except himself and that older man. Sasuke's first thought was that this other man was the ninja he'd spent that past four years looking for. Something in the timbre of his new sensei's voice however promptly crushed that hope.

"So you're the ones I'm stuck with this time, huh?"

Sasuke chuckles softly with the memory of this first meeting of the man that would become extremely important to his team. He was more than just a sensei to them all, but each for different reasons. It was only a year before that Sasuke began to almost forget about that hero of his past, his attention turning more toward his sensei. He never quite forgot about that other man, but he thought about him less and less often as he grew closer to his sensei. His attraction had been growing steadily over the four years his team had been training under Kakashi, but Sasuke tried not to think much about it. He couldn't very well confess his feelings to the older man, therefor, he thought it better that he just not think about it too much and torture himself with an unrequited love. He could see what Sakura's love for him was doing to her, and he didn't want the same thing happening to him.

Moving without thought, Sasuke slipped out onto the balcony outside of his window. He was off in a flash, moving silently from rooftop to rooftop, shadow to shadow. His mind was whirling with thought, driving him on in a fevered state. Eventually he finds himself standing in front of a familiar door. He stares at it, feeling his cheeks flush with heat. He starts to back away, unsure what has brought him to this place, and yet somehow very sure of what has brought him here. He tries to convince himself that he can't disturb anyone this time of the night, certainly everyone was asleep in the entire village except those on duty. Just as this conviction almost sends him back to his own room, he notices the light shinning warmly out of the windows. Making a helpless noise low in his throat, Sasuke, feels his arm lifting, seemingly of its own conviction. Before he can even think to stop himself, he knocks.


	3. Chapter 3

Kakashi had felt a connection with Sasuke from the night that he walked through that carnage and found one small, terrified boy huddled and clinging to life amongst so much death. He'd kept tabs on the lone survivor of the Uchiha clan over the years, watching him grow and making sure he always had anything and everything he needed. He hadn't expected when he was assigned a new team from Sasuke's graduating class that Sasuke would be part of that team. He'd hoped, and even felt bold enough to make the request once, but he never expected that his request would be honored. And no one told him that his request had been honored. Usually he was given a dossier on his new students the day they were assigned to him, but somehow the dossier on his students was 'misplaced' so he didn't know who he had until the afternoon he walked into that classroom and saw them standing there waiting for him. His heart had skipped several beats and he thought he'd never be able to tear his gaze from Sasuke at that moment, but the commotion of his other two students had finally set his heart to beating again and enabled him to tear his gaze away from the much grown lone Uchiha.

Over the next four years, Kakashi had watched the boy grow quickly toward manhood, excelling as a ninja and as a person. Kakashi never had any doubt that Sasuke would become one of the greatest ninjas the village had ever known. He seemed to be driven even more than any other he'd ever know. He was curious about what drove the boy, but never asked. Sasuke was the quiet type, and seemed happier when he wasn't pressed to express his thoughts. Kakashi, figuring this was because of the trauma of his childhood, never pressed. Though, over the years he did watch the boy draw from his shell. He never got particularly close with his teammates, but he did seem more willing to talk to Kakashi, and the man never turned him away. Because of that growing closeness, Kakashi felt his own feelings for the boy grow from the protectiveness that it had been since the night he'd found the boy into something much more. Kakashi realized he loved Sasuke shortly after Sasuke turned 16. That was the previous summer, and with Sasuke's 17th birthday only a few months away, he found himself growing to love the boy more with each passing day even though he fought to suppress the feelings.

Hearing a knock at his door, Kakashi pushes his musings of the past aside at the same time he pushes the paperwork he hadn't even begun aside on his desk. Rising, he moved quickly to the door, fearing that it must be bad news that would bring someone to his door this time of the night. He hoped it wasn't another mission. His team needed a rest. They especially needed a chance to rest in their own homes. Their last mission had been the hardest they'd had since that first real mission had taught his team the true meaning of being a ninja, and gave them a crash course in death. One Sasuke didn't need. One he'd had as a small boy. He'd handled it much better than Kakashi had imagined he would, and it only seemed to strengthen his resolve. This last mission however had left a mark on Sasuke. Kakashi could see it in his eyes. He didn't know what had triggered it, or if he could have done anything to prevent it, but he'd been determined from the time he'd noticed that look of lost pain and terror in the boy's eyes that he'd find a way to heal it.

Sliding the door open, Kakashi is stunned to find Sasuke standing outside. The first thing Kakashi notices is that the boy wasn't wearing shoes, or any kind of covering against the cold. It hinted at a great haste that had brought the boy to his house. He glances around in the dark behind the boy before looking back down at him again. Finding his voice, he starts to speak only to be caught by the emotion roiling over the boy's face. Sasuke looked terrified, confused, embarrassed and more than a little lost. Without having to think, Kakashi steps back and motions his student into the warmth of his home. As soon as Sasuke was inside, Kakashi slid the door closed and moved across the room to his bed. Picking up the light blanket that was heaped at one end of the bed, he moved back to the boy, finally speaking.

"Ok Sasuke, what's wrong?"

Sasuke looks up at his sensei as the older man drapes the light blanket around his shoulders. His desire to flee hadn't left him even after his chance to do so had passed. The concern his saw in Kakashi's eyes however helped him to relax enough that he wasn't likely to bolt from the room at a moment's notice. Unable to stop himself, he lets his gaze travel over his sensei's body as Kakashi stood over him, looking down with concern in his eyes. Dressed now only in a pair of loose fitting uniform pants and his constant shirt with the mask that hugged his upper body showing off the well defined muscles underneath, Kakashi was a distraction Sasuke hadn't been counting on. Feeling his cheeks heating, he forces his gaze back up to his Kakashi's face as he snugs the blanket more tightly around himself. Now that he was inside and getting warm, he was noticing just how much of a chill he'd taken making that late night trip through the village. Settling his gaze on Kakashi's face, Sasuke tries to find the words to explain what had sent him running to his sensei in the middle of the night. Unable to come up with anything panic rises in him. He was afraid now of being sent home, and at that moment Sasuke had never wanted anything less. Knowing he had to say something however, Sasuke blurts out the first thing to come into his head.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm sorry I bothered you. I guess I just got scared. I guess it was just that nightmare I had last night. I couldn't sleep. I was pacing around my room and trying to clear my head and not having much luck. And I'm just so scared right now Sensei!"

Sasuke forces himself to stop before he babbles on any farther. This last was true at least, though perhaps not for the reasons implied. At that moment he was scared that Kakashi was going to give him a teacher lecture and send him back to his room. He always hated being lectured, even by Kakashi, but that was the least of his concern. He hadn't realized it until he'd started babbling, but he'd been aching to be close to Kakashi again from the moment the team had split up to head to their respective homes upon their return to Konoha. He couldn't say that to his sensei, but Sasuke felt that if he was careful about what he said, and said the right thing, he just might be able to stay a while longer with Kakashi before being sent home for the night.

Kakashi feels something tight in his chest loosen as he listens to Sasuke try to explain what had sent him out into the chill of the night without so much as shoes. It wasn't anything serious. Or at least, it wasn't anything that was a threat to the village or any of his students. That was a relief at least. But the fear that shone very really in Sasuke's eyes was another matter entirely. It wasn't something Kakashi was used to seeing. The boy was fearless, or so he had always seemed. After that night Kakashi found him trembling in absolute terror, he'd never seen, or known Sasuke to be afraid of anything again. For Sasuke to now be afraid of something was unbelievable. For it to be something as innocuous as a bad dream was almost too much to even consider. Kakashi knew there had to be something more. Something Sasuke was afraid to say, and Kakashi didn't dare press too hard or else the boy might shut down completely. He didn't think it had anything to do with that last hellish mission they'd just finished, but lacking any other ideas, he decided he'd play that card for the time being until he could get a little more from the boy to let him know what was truly scaring him so badly.

Kakashi places his hands firmly on Sasuke's shoulders and looks down into his eyes as he speaks with quiet, firm conviction. "You don't need to be scared, Sasuke. Sasuke. You're safe now. I'll never let anyone hurt you. I promise."

It takes a few moments for Kakashi's words to sink past the wildly running thoughts that had been filling Sasuke's mind all evening. When at last they do everything in his head goes perfectly still. Silent. It takes another few moments for the words to really come clear enough to him that shock is at last able to set in. The shock lasts only a heartbeat and is then shattered by memory. Sasuke was no longer in Kakashi's warm, tidy room. He was no longer 16. Sasuke was 8 again. He was at home in the dark with the smell of blood and fear all around him. Out of that dark and fear comes a ray of light; hope. He once more sees the Anbu agent kneeling in front of him. He feels himself being pulled into the arms of the larger male and the feeling of safety grows.

Jerking from his memory almost physically, Sasuke gasps and stares up at his sensei in complete shock and recognition. His hopes, which he'd never dared to hold too tightly, were being brought back to him, proved to be true. Kakashi _was_ the Anbu agent that had rescued him that night 8 years before. The reality of this slams back into him and sends him staggering a step backward as he continues to gape in shocked awe at his sensei. Sheer joy beings to flood inside of him, pushing away the surprise, the shock of it all. The blanket slides from his suddenly numb fingers, and he barely notices as he lifts a hand to point one finger at the older man standing before him. When he speaks, he can only manage an awed whisper.

"It was you. It _was_! You saved me that night! It was you! You were the Anbu agent that found me!"

Kakashi is too surprised by Sasuke's reaction at first to understand what was going on, what he was saying. With his words, Kakashi's memory also flashes back to the night he first met the last of the Uchiha clan. He remembers picking the terrified boy up, feeling a gush of pity and rage as the small boy shook like a leaf in a storm. He remembers speaking to the boy. The words come back to him in a rush and he realizes he's just inadvertently given himself away to his student. He'd tried to hide the fact that he'd been Anbu at Sasuke's age from his students. He'd mainly wanted to hide it from Sasuke so he wouldn't figure out just what he has. Kakashi didn't know how the boy would react, and he didn't want to have to be a reminder of that horrible night, and now he'd done it. He'd given away his secret. Scrambling to try to come up with something, anything that would fix this, take the words back, Kakashi finds himself stumbling over his words for the first time in his life.

"Sasuke! I can... It's not what... It's just that..." Kakashi pauses and takes a deep breath before forcing himself to continue in a calmer, clearer voice. "I'm sorry I never told you. I didn't want you to know. Let me exp-"

Sasuke doesn't hear a thing Kakashi is saying. As warmth begins to flood his insides as well as his cheeks he blurts out, unaware that he's interrupting Kakashi, "I love you! I've loved you since I was little!"

Kakashi takes his turn to gasp now, staring down at the boy in shock. He wasn't sure he'd heard the boy correctly, but the flushing of Sasuke's cheeks leads Kakashi to believe that he did indeed hear him correctly, and a hope he didn't even know he'd been harboring began to grow inside him, filling him to near bursting. Too stunned by the unexpected outburst, Kakashi doesn't even try to suppress the feeling welling up inside of him. His own love for this boy, growing for almost a year now, began to sing through his body, setting his heart to racing in his chest and quickening his breathing. His hands clasp tighter on the boy's shoulders, then loosen and fall away to hang at his sides. Kakashi stares down at Sasuke, unable to speak, and unsure of just what he would say if he could speak.

Sasuke stands watching his sensei, nervous about each and every second that passes without a word being said. Still too elated to know that he'd found the man he'd been looking for the last 8 years, he doesn't grow more and more nervous until it turns coldly to fear as he might otherwise have. In all the years, his imagination had played this moment again and again. It had never been quite like this, but even in the versions where things started off badly, they always ended well. The ending was always the same, and in his heart, Sasuke felt sure that this would end just as he had always imagined it would. Love was blossoming between sensei and student as far as Sasuke was concerned, it was just a matter of time. Something in Kakashi's eyes leads Sasuke to believe that this was indeed the case, no matter how long he stood silent. His body thrumming was adrenaline, Sasuke leaps forward, closing the short distance between himself and Kakashi, and throws his arms around the older man, burying his face against his chest, feeling sobs to relief welling up within him.

Kakashi looks down at Sasuke, his eyes gone wide with surprise and pain. He couldn't love this boy, Sasuke was his student. But he did. He loved him more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life, and he knew it. Trying not to think about the difficulties that lay ahead, he slides his arms around the smaller boy and leans down, nuzzling the top of his head tenderly. Closing his eyes, he enjoys the warmth of the moment, loathe to give time a hold of the situation, knowing this moment was going to end all too soon. Finally, with a great reluctance, Kakashi lets go of Sasuke. Moving his hands back up to the boy's shoulders, he grasps him firmly, but gently and pulls him back, making him move back so that they could look at one another.

"Sasuke," Kakashi begins, then stops when he sees the fear growing in the boy's eyes again. He quickly moves one of his hands up to cup the boy's face, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the soft skin of his cheek. He looks deeply into the boy's black eyes before continuing what he'd been meaning to say. "Sasuke. We can't do this. You're my student. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to Sakura and Naruto. Oh, please don't look at me like that! I love you, I do! I didn't figure it out until around your last birthday, but I know it now. I've been trying to not love you, but I can't help myself. I think a part of me has loved you since that night."

Sasuke stands staring up at the one man he'd never dreamed he could ever be with, feeling the mixed feeling of pleasure at the gentle touch on his cheek, the joy of hearing that Kakashi did love him, and the pain of being told that nothing could come of their love. He had never thought Kakashi would say no. He had never thought whoever his rescuer should turn out to be, would ever tell him no. And now, here he stood, being told just that. His mind reels in an attempt to find something, anything, that would make this all turn out ok. There had to be something he could say that would change Kakashi's mind, because he wasn't willing to let this end this way. It doesn't take him long however to realize that there really wasn't anything to be said about it. Part of him knew that his sensei was right, but another part of him also knew that there was nothing he could say that would ever change Kakashi's mind anyway. Kakashi was one of the most stubborn men Sasuke had ever know. It was one of his more endearing qualities in Sasuke's mind.

Kakashi looks down at the younger male, wanting desperately to take the pain from his eyes. To just draw the boy into his arms and tell the world to just go away. He wanted to build a world around this boy, but he knew he couldn't. Feeling as if his own heart were going to break, he drops his hands away from Sasuke, the physical contact working to undermine what he knew was right. Closing his eyes, he draws in a deep breath to steady himself, and when he opens them again, he's surprised to find Sasuke's hands reaching toward his face. It takes him a moment to realize what the boy was doing and smiles behind his mask as he gently takes hold of his student's wrists and shakes his head. That was one secret he could keep tonight. Instead, he draws Sasuke back into his arms even as his mind screamed at him to not do it, sighing contently as he felt the boy cuddle against him. Glancing at the window and judging by the stars he could make out over the top of the building across from his, he makes another decision that probably isn't smart.

Kakashi moves back and slides one of Sasuke's hands into his own. Leaning down he picks up the blanket from his bed then turns and leads Sasuke over to his bed. Without saying a word he lets go of Sasuke and picks up one of his uniform shirts from the end of the bed and hands it to Sasuke. Giving the boy some privacy, he turns and concentrates on remaking the bed and cleaning up a bit around it. It was the only spot on his room that never seemed to stay neat. Listening to the sound of Sasuke changing behind him, Kakashi focuses his mind on his own tasks until he hears Sasuke fall silent behind him once more. Again, without turning to look at the boy, he lifts one corner of the blanket and waits until Sasuke had settled himself in the bed. Leaning over, he tucks the boy in snuggly, then leans himself down further, tugging his mask down once he was out of Sasuke's line of sight. Placing a single soft kiss on the boy's forehead, Kakashi fights the urge to do more. Slipping the mask back into place and standing back up to look down at the boy, he sighs quietly.

"You sleep now. You're exhausted, I can see it in your eyes. This was a tough mission we just finished. You'll be safe here, so let your mind clear and allow yourself to sleep."

Moving across the room back to the small table he used as a desk, Kakashi sits and watches Sasuke until he's sure the boy has drifted off to sleep. Sighing again, more deeply this time, Kakashi turns back to the report he was working on when Sasuke arrived. The work clears his head after only a few moments, and when he finally finishes an hour later, he'd almost forgotten about his student asleep in his bed. Almost. Closing his eyes, Kakashi turns around. When he opens them again, he feels his heart breaking at the sight of the boy asleep in his bed, knowing the pain that lay ahead for both of them. Giving his head a sad shake, Kakashi moves to turn out the light, then moves silently over to the bed. Slipping out of his pants, he climbs into the bed carefully next to the boy so he doesn't wake him, and prepares himself for a sleepless night.


	4. Chapter 4

Kakashi wakes slowly the next morning, his mind clicking slowly into functioning. The night before felt like a dream barely remembered. Kakashi lays with his eyes closed and gives his head a small shake, not wanting to think too much about it. Finally it sinks in to him that there's an added warmth and weight next to him. This realization snaps him fully from sleep and into the memory of the night before. He's surprised that he'd slept, but this was an unimportant fact. Turning his head slowly he looks at his student cuddled up to his side. His eyes travel slowly down the length his Sasuke's body, feeling a smile curling the corners of his mouth upward. The boy really did look adorable sleeping like he was. Sasuke had rolled over some time in the night and laid his head on Kakashi's shoulder, draping his arm and one leg over Kakashi, effectively holding Kakashi in place all night, not that the older man had a tenancy to move at all in the night. Once he settled into sleep, he rarely moved until the following morning. Curling his right arm around the boy's shoulders, Kakashi slips his gaze back up to his peaceful, sleeping face. Reaching out with his left hand, he brushes his fingertips over the softness of Sasuke's lips, wondering not for the first time what those lips would feel like against his. Shivering with this thought, Kakashi pulls his hand away just as Sasuke begins to stir.

Sasuke feels himself being drawn from slumber, and not wanting to give up the lovely dream of being curled up in Kakashi's arms, he fights it until he realizes that it wasn't a dream. Waking completely, he lays perfectly still, not even opening his eyes. He judged by the feel of Kakashi against the front of his body in just what position he'd managed to get himself during sleep. This makes him more determined not to move. He didn't know if Kakashi was awake, but he didn't want to risk waking him if he wasn't. He wanted to lay just like this and enjoy the moment that he may never get again for as long as possible. His euphoria is temporarily dulled by the thought that even if Kakashi wasn't awake, he would be soon and he'd move away. Then, as if he'd picked up on his stress, Sasuke feels Kakashi's arm tighten slightly around his shoulders. Turning his head and finally opening his eyes, Sasuke finds himself looking into his sensei's eyes. Slowly he sees the smile, hidden behind the mask, light up Kakashi's eyes, and he feels his own smile curving his lips upward in response.

Joy warms Sasuke's heart as nothing else ever could. Ever since that awful night, he'd never thought he'd be able to feel happiness ever again, so to feel such joy was a pleasing shock for Sasuke. Unable to do anything else, he just lays pressed against Kakashi's side, grinning foolishly at the other man, letting the joy and love fill his face, not noticing the look of pain that flits briefly across the older man's face. Reality beginning to force it's way back into the situation as he'd always known it would, and Sasuke comes to two very important realizations at almost the same moment. Kakashi wasn't showing any signs or pulling away from him, sending him away, or reacting negatively in the least. This realization is forgotten under the weight of the one that comes right on it's heels. Sasuke was pressed along the side of Kakashi's body, one of his legs draped over Kakashi's legs. This position had the added disadvantage of pressing his morning erection quite firmly against his sensei's leg. Feeling the heat of a blush crawl up his face and over his ears, he ducks his head down, hiding his face, but trying to make it seem as if he were just attempting to lay his head back on Kakashi's shoulder, hoping the older man hadn't seen the blush before he turned away. Sasuke couldn't bring himself to hope that Kakashi hadn't noticed the erection pressed against his upper thigh.

Kakashi sees the color climbing up the younger man's face before he turns away, but doesn't comment on it. He lets Sasuke think that he hadn't noticed. He didn't feel the need to embarrass him any more than he already was. At that moment, Kakashi realized what it was that had embarrassed Sasuke. Unsure of how he'd failed to notice it before, Kakashi has to fight not to react too much to it now that he had noticed. Part of him wanted to squirm away from the boy, and another, larger part of him wanted to draw the boy closer, tighter, taking advantage of that morning occurrence. This strong desire is the one that decides his next move for him. As much as he didn't want to, he had to get out of this bed and get on with his day before things got out of hand. His problem now was figuring out how to get himself out of the situation he was in without embarrassing Sasuke further, or worse yet, hurting his feelings.

Sasuke surprisingly is the one to make the next move, saving Kakashi the trouble of having to figure out the best way to do it. Steeling himself to do the one thing he wanted the least to do at that moment, Sasuke slowly rolls himself over onto his back, stretching himself out and making it seem as if that were what had moved him away from the other man, not embarrassment. He fights back a disappointed frown when he feels Kakashi's arm loosen around his shoulder, letting him move away. Laying with his eyes closed, he gives himself on a few heartbeats to feel sorry for himself, then sits up, feeling the weight of loss filling his heart. After all these years, he'd found him, but he may as well not have. Sasuke tugs Kakashi's shirt down around himself more snugly, covering what movement in sleep had uncovered. With his back to Kakashi, he misses the older man's disappointed look.

Not allowing himself time to dwell on the loss he felt the moment Sasuke moved away from him, Kakashi takes the moment offered to him and moves himself to the edge of the bed, careful to neither touch, nor look at Sasuke. He knew that it would only take one look at his rumpled student to break down his will and send him back into that bed, never to rise again. At the moment the thought of spending the rest of his life in bed with Sasuke was more appealing than anything else he could imagine. Shaking off this thought and the desire it manifested both in his mind and physically, Kakashi slips off the edge of the bed and moves across the room to gather up clean clothes. Stopping outside of the bathroom door, he realizes he was being rude to his guest, and probably hurting the boy's feelings. Forcing himself to turn, Kakashi offers Sasuke a warm smile, his eyes lighting with the smile that was as always, hidden behind his mask. He motions around the room, allowing himself a moment to be sure his voice was going to be clear and without a waver to reveal his inner struggle.

"Feel free to stick around if you want to sleep a little longer. There should be some food in the cabinets when you decide to get up. I've got to get cleaned up and head off to turn in my reports from our last mission, then I promised Naruto I'd help him with his training late this morning." Kakashi pauses and considers for a moment before he continues. "If you and Sakura want to join us, we can get some team training in as well. Though I don't think Sakura is going to be very interested in training the day after returning from a mission. But, feel free to stop by and ask her on your way, if you want."

Sasuke nods to his sensei, unable to find the words to say anything at that moment. As soon as the bathroom door had closed behind the older man, Sasuke fell back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands and muffling a groan. He felt like a fool and more than a little embarrassed by the whole thing, but he held on to the hope that one day he'd be able to make Kakashi forget it all. Especially his resistance to the love he knew the older man was feeling. Rolling over onto his side, turning his back to the bathroom door, Sasuke curled himself up, pretending to be asleep, so that when Kakashi came back out of the bathroom, they wouldn't have to speak. Sasuke smiled to himself as the thought occurred to him than this also meant he could stay at Kakashi's for as long as he wanted. Or, at the very least, until he came back home. Sasuke knew that if Naruto had talked their sensei into training this afternoon, it was likely to be very late before Kakashi returned anyway.

Kakashi stepped out of the bathroom, clean and dressed, ready to face the day several minutes later. His gaze immediately goes to his bed, looking for Sasuke. He felt the need to say something to the boy, though he had no idea what. Seeing that Sasuke had apparently gone back to sleep, Kakashi sighs quietly and walks across the room to the bed. He picks up Sasuke's clothes and folds them neatly, setting them on a chair near the bed. He then stands, looking down at the sleeping boy silently, feeling his heart ache with the desire to let go and just love the boy completely. He wanted so very much to just crawl into the bed and draw the sleeping boy back into his arms, but he knew he couldn't. Without thinking, Kakashi tugs his mask down and leans over the boy, kissing his temple gently. Standing that way, he looks at the peaceful lines of Sasuke's sleeping face and whispers to him.

"I love you Sasuke. I wish I could act on that love. I wish I could let you know just how very deeply I love you."

Tugging his mask back into place and shaking his head, Kakashi turns away from the bed. He walks over to his desk and picks up the reports from their last mission and heads for the door. He stops once and looks back at Sasuke, then leaves silently, unaware that Sasuke was not only awake, he was staring at the wall, eyes wide with shock. It wasn't the words that had shocked Sasuke, he'd already known that Kakashi felt the same for him, it was the kiss. He hadn't been expecting it. It meant more to him and anything Kakashi could ever say or do.


	5. Chapter 5

"Kakashi? Kakashi! Where the hell is your mind!?"

"I'm sorry Lady Hokage, what did you say?"

"I asked if it was only the children that survived."

"Yes, by the time we arrived, the entire family had been killed. The children were the only survivors. I'm sure the children would have been decimated with the rest of the family if they hadn't been hidden away. From what I was able to piece together, it happened quickly, they never had time to find the children, if they even looked. No one saw anything, and no one seemed to know anything. I got the feeling though that the villagers knew more than they were saying. Whether they remained silent from fear, or from some form of self-preservation, I couldn't say. We weren't warmly received at all."

Tsunade props her elbows on the report in front of her, steepling her fingers in front of her face as she peers at Kakashi, eyes narrowed in thought. She would read his report after he was gone, but she knew from experience that she'd not learn anything through questioning him that wasn't already in his report. Kakashi was very detail oriented. He was capable of one day becoming hokage himself. Tsunade pushes her musing of the younger ninja aside and concentrates on the work at hand.

"How did your team handle the slaughter, and the fight that followed?"

Kakashi sighs deeply, trying not to let his shoulders slump as he found himself suddenly exhausted. "Naruto was Naruto. The boy remains nearly impossible to control when his anger surges. Sakura was quiet, introverted. She worked well, never letting her feeling cloud her thinking or her actions. She's improving with each mission. She's going to be a splendid ninja. Sasuke..."

Kakashi's voice trails off and he frowns as he thinks about the boy. His mind immediately returns to the conversation they'd had the night before. Trying not to give anything away, he forces his mind back to the subject and replays Sasuke's actions throughout the mission, still wondering why the boy was having nightmares again. It was a pretty good chance the boy was sympathizing with the children left alive while remembering his own horror filled time the night his own clan was murdered. Nothing he did had given any hint that he was the least upset by the situation. He'd had the perfect detachment of any ninja, and Kakashi had been quite proud of his student at that time, and still was. But that nightmare and his subsequent arrival, half dressed and unexpected the night before left Kakashi wondering.

Tsunade doesn't interrupt Kakashi's train of thought, rather letting the jounin sort through his memories and experiences to come down to the finer point of the development of Sasuke as a ninja. She didn't miss the pain that briefly filled his eyes that was soon replaced by what could only be termed embarrassment before all emotion was hidden away behind the emotionless mask that was all ninja. Keeping her fingers steepled in front of her face and her eyes locked on Kakashi, she waits patiently for his continuance.

"Sasuke didn't seem to be effected by what happened. From the time we arrived until the time we left, he was all business. He did what he was told promptly and did it well without question. He was invaluable in many instances as we tracked the murderers of the Yanito family. The ensuing fight seemed to steady the boy further, and he proved that he has only grown stronger since our last mission, and continues to do so. The only thing of worry was the night before we arrived back in Konoha. He had a nightmare. The first in many years I'd be willing to bet. He didn't admit to the nightmare, but I'd been watching him for several minutes before he finally woke up, so I knew. He seemed well recovered by the following morning, so whatever disturbed him in the night must have been forgotten again with the dawn."

Tsunade sits and examines Kakashi when he falls silent, wondering just what he wasn't saying. After a few moments, she puts the pieces together and sits back. Eyebrows raising, she crosses her arms over her ample chest and inclines her head to the side questioningly. She wasn't sure if this was the right time to press the issue, but she found herself unable, or perhaps unwilling, to remain silent.

"He's figured it out hasn't he? Have you talked to him about it?"

Kakashi blinks slowly, the only sign he'd allow his body to give to show his surprise. He should have known she'd figure something out. The Lady Hokage was no fool. He'd not failed to notice of the past few years just how smart this woman was. Feeling his cheek heating under his mask, he's absently glad that his mask hid his embarrassment as he remembers what had happened the night before, and then earlier that morning. Clearing his throat, he makes himself stand a little taller, squaring his shoulders again before he answers.

"Yes ma'am, he's figured it out. It was my own fault. He came to my house last night and he seemed upset about something, though I was never able to get what it was from him. I said something meant to soothe the boy, not thinking that it was the same thing I'd said to him the night I found him. It brought his memories back and it clicked the last piece of that puzzle into place for him and he knew who I was. I didn't bother lying to the boy about it, I admitted and offered to explain why the secret had been kept from him all these years, but he didn't seem interested in the reasons. He had other things on his mind last night."

Tsunade looks down at the report on her desk, using that motion to hide the sudden smile that slipped onto her face, softening her features considerably. She had a pretty good idea what the boy had on his mind. It was the same thing that had one of her best jounin so distracted today. Making a mental note to keep a close eye on the two lest things get out of hand and cause trouble, she looks back up from the report and nods to Kakashi. She picks up the report and holds it up, looking at him over the top of it with her eyebrows raised in question as she speaks.

"You've included all of this in your report, correct?"

"Yes ma'am. There were a few open ends, but nothing that was worrisome, but I did note them."

"Ok, good work Kakashi, as usual. I'm sure you've got something else you need to be doing, so you may go now."

"Yes ma'am, Naruto is waiting for me. Thank you ma'am."

Bowing, Kakashi turns and slips silently from the room. Once in the hall he takes a moment to lean back against the closed door, eyes closed. After a few moments he shakes his head and pushes himself off the door and heads off down the hall. As foolish as he felt, he knew it wouldn't do any good to dwell on it until Lady Hokage herself said something to him. She knew what was happening between himself and his student, but she chose not to confront him about it, and he was in no great rush to get to that confrontation.

Tsunade sits, staring down at the report in her hand and frowning for several minutes after the jounin left. Her mind was a whirl with thoughts, trying to anticipate any and all trouble that was looming on the horizon, either real or imagined. Sasuke was almost 17, and as long as nothing happened before the boy's 17th birthday, there wasn't going to be much of a problem. Except she was going to have to split that team up. Sighing and whispering a curse, Tsunade threw the report down onto her desk then looks up at the door across from her. Team 7 was her best team, she didn't want to have to split them up, it was counter productive.

"Shizune!"

The door opens and the younger woman hurries in, closing the door behind her. She moves to stand at the desk, a small, helpful smile curling her lips. Shizune was always the one to soothe Tsunade when things were going badly or when her mood took a turn for the worse. But the woman was also an invaluable tool, and the only one that kept her sane when the work threatened to overwhelm her. Tucking the report away to be read later, Tsunade turns her full attention on the younger woman, smiling grimly.

"It's happened. Sasuke knows that Kakashi was the Anbu that found him the night his clan was slaughtered. The boy is in love with Kakashi now, though I'm quite sure he was already well on his way to loving his sensei even before he knew who he was. That's problem enough, but now it seems that Kakashi is also in love with his student. I saw it growing between them, but I'd hoped good sense and time with the help of missions to distract them would put a stop to it. It didn't. I need you to keep an eye on them. Make sure nothing comes of this, at least until Sasuke turns 17. That's one headache I really don't need right now."

Shizune shows no emotion, only that soothing smile. If she as surprised by any of this she didn't show it. Instead she only bows and murmurs, "Yes my lady" before turning and slipping silently out of the room. Tsunade stares at the closed door for a moment longer, then turns her chair to look out the window behind her. Work awaited her, but she was too distracted at that moment to even consider looking at it just yet. Sighing again, and feeling her age in spite of herself, Tsunade leans back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest again.

"Kakashi, I hope you know what you're doing, and I hope you've got enough sense to wait."


	6. Chapter 6

Sasuke woke a few hours later. Rubbing his eyes, he rolls onto his back and stretches, a satisfied yawn forcing his jaws wide. It occurs to him then that he wasn't in his own bed. The one he was in didn't feel right. Eyes still closed, he frowns, forcing sleep from his mind until memory comes clearly. Remembering where he is, he opens his eyes and looks around the empty room. Without thinking, Sasuke smiles and pushes himself into a sitting position. He hadn't planned on going back to sleep, but clearly he'd been much more tired than he'd originally thought. His gaze settles on a pair of shoes sitting near the door. His shoes. Smile stretching wider, Sasuke flops back into the bed. Kakashi had come back by while he was asleep to bring him his shoes. Sasuke made a mental note to thank him the next time he saw him.

Turning to his side, Sasuke wonders when he would see the older man again. He was afraid that Kakashi would start avoiding him now, only seeing him when the team trained together, or when they had a mission. Sasuke had no intention of letting him do that. Breathing in Kakashi's scent from the bedding, Sasuke begins to hatch a few plans that would help him get more time with his sensei, alone preferably. Drawing his knees up to his chest and curling his head forward to brush his nose across the fabric of Kakashi's shirt, it occurred to Sasuke that there'd been some talk some weeks before about working with his chakra and Chidori to increase his stamina and recovery time so that he could use the jutsu more than twice. Smiling in a manner reminiscent of the cat in the cream, Sasuke decides that this would be the perfect excuse to get some more time with his sensei. Since neither of his teammates could use the Chidori, there would be no need for them to join that particular training.

Rolling to his back once more and still grinning, Sasuke allows himself one more long, languid stretch before sitting up again. Sliding to the edge of the bed, he sits for a moment, thinking back over the previous night. So much had happened so quickly, he still felt mildly shocked by it all. Shaking his head he slides off the side of the bed, then without thinking, turns and begins to make the bed as his mind replays key points of the previous night. As he finishes tucking everything neatly into place, he replays in his mind again and again Kakashi's words from earlier that morning. Sasuke knew Kakashi loved him, the older man had said so the night before, but something about the way he'd said it that morning, the tone of his voice, gave Sasuke an insight in to just how much he loved him. Standing and staring down unseeing at the bed, Sasuke shivers in delight and smiles. Lifting a hand, he absently brushes his fingertips where Kakashi had kissed him that morning before leaving to turn his his report on their mission. Shivering again, he drops his hand to his side and sighs deeply. Life was finally going the way he wanted it to. For once he felt completely in control and as if everything would be ok.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Sasuke moves away from from the bed and picks up his clothes. He pauses to smile and shake his head at the fact that his sensei had folded his clothes so neatly, while his own clothes were spread along his bed the night before, and were now piled in a box in a nearby corner. Chuckling, Sasuke pulls off Kakashi's shirt and lays it gently on the bed before pulling on his own clothes. He stands looking at the shirt laying on the bed for several minutes, finally coming to a decision. Leaning over, Sasuke picks up the shirt he'd slept in the night before and folds it neatly, then moving over to the door, he sets it on a small table that sat nearby so that it would be near to hand when he finally left. Turning, he moves back into the room and heads over to the box of clothes. Sasuke picks up the box and moves back over to the bed, dumping the clothes there. He takes a moment to put the box back where it'd come from before proceeding to neatly fold his sensei's clothes, mostly resisting the urge to cuddle the clothing to his chest and breath in the older man's scent again. Separating the clothes into piles, Sasuke stands looking down at the clothing, his mind wandering to thoughts of the owner of the clothes. Shaking his head, Sasuke leans down and picks up the first pile of clothes then moves across the room to put them away in their proper place. Moving quickly, he has all the clothes put away properly in only a few moments time. Moving back to the bed, he sits on the edge and looks up the length of the bed, imagining Kakashi laying there in sleep.

Sighing deeply, Sasuke pushes himself to his feet and moves away from the bed. He pauses next to the desk, considering for a moment, then pulls the chair out and sits down. It's only a few minutes' searching that locates a pen and some paper. Leaning over the desk he proceeds to scribble a quick note for the older man, trying not to let his feelings take over, fearing that it might scare the older man off if he did. He pauses often to consider carefully what to write before continuing. After several minutes he puts the pen down and takes up the note and reads it quietly to himself.

_Sensei,_

_Thank you for allowing me to stay last night. I think not being alone was just what I needed, especially after such a shock. By way of showing my appreciation, I've straightened up a bit for you, folding your clothes and puting them away properly, rather than leaving them for you to deal with after your afternoon of training. There is something I wish you speak to you about involving my own training. I'll come by tomorrow if you aren't busy and we can discuss it then. Again, thank you so very much. For everything._

Nodding his approval of the letter, Sasuke lays it back on the desk, takes up the pen and quickly scrawls his name at the bottom. Puting the pen back in it's place, he stands and walks across the room, meaning to place the note on the bed. When he gets to the bed, he thinks better of it. It might seem too much as if he were implying something sexual when that's not what he was after at all. Glancing about, his gaze settles on the picture sitting on the bedside table. Picking up the picture in one hand, he smiles slightly to himself, remembering the day the team picture was taken. He sees only Kakashi in the picture however. Setting it back in place, he slips the note under the corner of the picture, sure that the older man wouldn't miss it there. He gives the room one last look over before moving to the door. Sitting, he pulls his shoes on, then stands and takes the shirt. Hand on the door, he pauses. Looking back over his shoulder at the note, he wonders if perhaps he should mention that he'd taken the shirt, but quickly decides against it. If Kakashi knew he had it, he may ask for it back, and Sasuke wanted very much to keep it. Shaking his head, he gives the room a last longing look, wishing Kakashi were still in the room, then heads out, closing the door quietly behind him. He takes in a deep breath, enjoying the warm spring day after the cold spring evenings they'd been having.

Sasuke is so caught up in his thoughts about mundane things such as the weather, and not so mundane things such as Kakashi and the love that was blooming between sensei and student, he doesn't even notice he's been watched coming out of Kakashi's room. Turning, he head off slowly in the direction of his own rooms, a warm smile lighting up his face in a way it hadn't been since before the death of his clan. Had Sasuke known he was being observed, he might have done something to evade those eyes. He'd certainly have hidden the shirt from sight. He might even have held the smile at bay. As it was, he was blissfully unaware that he was being watched, much too content with the world to notice much of anything.

Sasuke slips into his room, shutting the door silently behind him. Leaning back against the door, he closes his eyes and sighs quietly. Replaying in his mind one last time what Kakashi had whispered to him that morning, Sasuke smiles then pushes away from the door, moving into his room. He stops in the middle of the room and looks at the back laying where he'd left it the day before on his bed. He hadn't unpacked after arriving home from their last mission. He'd been so anxious from residual emotion of the nightmare he'd had, and the stress of the mission, that he'd been little more than a zombie before going to Kakashi's.

Giving a resigned sigh, Sasuke moves over to his bed, hugging Kakashi's shirt snugly to his chest. Lifting his pillow, he smiles again and sets the shirt down and lays the pillow back in place on top of the shirt. Moving down to the foot of the bed, he takes up his bag. Flipping the top open, he unceremoniously dumps the its contents onto his bed. Taking up the dirty clothes, he moves across the room and drops them into the basket that contained his dirty clothes waiting to be washed. Having meant to move back to the items still to be put away, Sasuke is surprised to find himself standing at the head of his bed again, one hand resting on the pillow. Cursing under his breath and blushing, Sasuke moves away from the head of the bed and back to the work at hand. Several more minutes sees his ninja tools cleaned, though they didn't need it, and put away. The other random bits of life he always took along on a mission are soon back in place as well. Standing with the empty mission bag in his hand, Sasuke sighs, wishing he were still at Kakashi's.

Sasuke tosses his bag to his desk under the window, then drops down onto the edge of the bed. Almost instantly he's back up and across the room. Standing in front of his desk, Sasuke stares down at the team picture that was a match to the one in Kakashi's room. Picking up the picture, Sasuke moves back to his bed once more. Pulling the shirt out from under his pillow, Sasuke drops down and stretches out on his bed. Laying the shirt across his chest, Sasuke holds the picture up above him, his eyes seeing only his sensei. His mind begins to replay again and again those three words Sasuke had been longing to hear, and had been imagining for so long, until finally, sleep claimed him. The picture drops to lay next to him on the bed, one of his hands automatically goes to his chest, fingers splaying over the shirt laying there.


	7. Chapter 7

Kakashi stands in the clearing, ears alert for the slightest sound coming from the surrounding trees to alert him to Naruto's presence. Why the boy chose to work on his stealth abilities when they'd never interested him before was unknown to Kakashi. Naruto had always been the type to rush headlong into any situation, and he tended to do it loudly. Distracted as he was by thoughts of Sasuke however, Kakashi didn't mind this form of training. With Naruto, it didn't require much thought. He needed to only pay just enough attention to be able to hear when the boy made his approach. Even at his most quiet, Naruto wasn't really.

A rustle to his left draws Kakashi's attention, and less than a second later he whirls to his right, burying a kunai in the tree six inches to Naruto's left. A soft bang and whoosh of air behind him tells Kakashi when Naruto eliminates his shadow clone. Standing with hands on hips, Kakashi watches the play of emotion across Naruto's face. The boy was angry, and more than a little frustrated. Clearly he'd thought he'd found a way to outwit his sensei and was displeased to see that he'd been wrong.

"Darn it! How'd you know Kakashi-sensei?"

"The Shadow Clone Jutsu is your specialty Naruto. It's also your crutch. You don't do anything without at least one clone. Because you wanted to work on your stealth abilities today, it was a pretty safe assumption that the first rustle I heard was going to be one of your clones, meant to draw my attention. The ploy was a good one Naruto, but I know you too well to fall for it. Don't give up the idea Naruto, just build on it."

"I'm going to outsmart you yet, Sensei! Believe it!"

As Kakashi watches, Naruto fades back into the trees, small rustles fading as he slowly moves out of hearing distance. Moving over to the edge of the clearing, Kakashi tugs his kunai from the tree, smiling behind his mask as he slips it back into his shuriken pouch. Moving back into the clearing he muses for a moment on the progress of his students. Naruto had improved greatly over the years, but he still had a long way to go to get to Sasuke's level. That more than anything else had driven the boy over the years. That rivalry had helped both boys grow exponentially as ninjas. He was proud of both of the boys. Sakura had improved more than both of them put together, however. She was turning into an exceptional kunoichi.

As the afternoon drags on, Kakashi's thoughts constantly turn to Sasuke until, in frustration he utters a quiet curse, trying to force his mind to at least go blank. He couldn't concentrate on training Naruto, but he was lucky in the respect that he really didn't need to concentrate to be able to work with the boy. He'd rather be able to concentrate on Naruto because continued thoughts of Sasuke were only driving him crazy. Nothing could come of their feelings, and the more he thought about it, the longer those feelings lingered, the worse he was going to feel. He wasn't going to have time to feel sorry for himself, or to feel any pain. He was going to have to be strong for Sasuke and help him past this. It was for the best after all.

Lifting his head, he looks around the nearby trees, trying to catch a glimpse of Naruto. When he can't see the boy, he turns his eyes up to the sky, judging by sun position just how long they'd been out there. Kakashi is surprised to find that most of the afternoon had passed. The fact that several hours had gone by and Naruto was showing no sign of tiring, wasn't in the least surprising. The boy never did know when to quit. Smiling behind his mask, he gives his head a small shake and waits for Naruto's next charge. It was going to have to be his last. The boy would never admit to being tired, but Kakashi knew that after the hardships of their last mission, and then this day of intense training, Naruto's body was going to give out if he didn't allow himself to rest soon.

The faintest of rustles behind him alerts Kakashi to the charge he'd been waiting for. This rustle might be missed by an unsuspecting man, but he'd been waiting, ears straining, so he was able to pick the sound up. Smiling again he stands perfectly still and waits for the clone to make it's appearance. When one doesn't come, he's nearly caught off guard by Naruto's rush from behind him. Whirling at the last moment, he reaches out and grabs Naruto's arm with one hand, and the kunai the boy held in the other. Twisting the blade free, he flicks it to embed, quivering in the ground right next to the spot the boy lands when Kakashi flips him through the air, throwing him down onto his back. Leaning over the boy, he nods his approval, smiling wide enough that it showed clearly in his eyes.

"Much better, Naruto. That one would have fooled almost anyone else."

"Darn it! I thought for sure I had you that time Sensei. I didn't use a clone this time on purpose and I stayed quiet. I didn't think I made enough noise coming through the trees for you to hear me. Sometimes I don't think you're human!"

Chuckling, Kakashi helps Naruto to his feet, giving the boy a slap on the back. "Oh, I'm just as human as anybody else Naruto, I'm just a well trained ninja. Besides, you have to consider the fact that I was standing here _waiting_ for you to come out of those trees, therefor my ears were strained to hear the smallest noise you made. Don't look at it as a failure, Naruto, because it wasn't. You've improved greatly over the years, and even more so just today. There was a big step up between your first charge and this one."

"Thanks, Sensei. I'll get you next time, I just know it!"

"No, Naruto, there won't be a next time. At least, not today. We've been out here most of the day, and coming on the heels of such a harsh mission, you need to rest. And even if you didn't, _I_ do. I worked just as hard as you and Sakura and Sasuke, and then I had those reports to write up last night, so I was up late. You go home and get something to eat and rest. If you want to, in a few days, maybe we can work on this some more. Though, maybe we can get Sakura and Sasuke out here with you. I want to see how you apply what you learned today to team training."

"Fine, fine. I'm really not tired at all Sensei, but if you are, I guess I haven't got a choice. But next time, you're going down! I'll do it with our without the others, believe it!"

Without further word Naruto turns and dashes off through the trees, back in the direction of the village, leaving an amused Kakashi in his wake. With a tired sigh and a shake of his head, Kakashi heads off in the direction of the village himself. He hadn't been lying when he'd told the boy that he was tired. He hadn't really realized just how tired he was until he'd said it. He'd slept the night before even though he hadn't expected that he would, but maybe he hadn't slept soundly enough. Or maybe it was just the stress of the day that dragged him down. He'd spent the day thinking about Sasuke and worrying over the pain that lay ahead for himself and his student. He couldn't live like this, but somehow he didn't think he could bring himself to break the boy's heart completely. It would break his own heart as well. Frowning as he slips through the crowds of the village on his way to his rooms, he decides it would probably be for the best to just avoid Sasuke for the time being until he could figure out what he was going to do. As long as they didn't get another mission soon, which he didn't expect after the hell of the last one, it wouldn't be too difficult to avoid the boy. The times he couldn't avoid him, he'd just have to be sure there was always at least one of his team members there as well.


	8. Chapter 8

Sasuke wakes at first light the next morning. His first thoughts are for training. He wanted to be Anbu, but he needed to be so much stronger before he'd even be considered for their ranks. Sitting up in bed, he shifts a look down downward at the strange feel of the shirt he'd slept in the night before. All thoughts of training to become a member of the Anbu ranks flees along with the sleep cloud that still wrapped him in lassitude. Memory floods in on the heels of the fleeing lassitude and Sasuke smiles. Pushing himself out of the bed, he pads quietly about his room, going through his morning ritual. He saved getting dressed for last however, as he didn't want to take off Kakashi's shirt, it made him feel closer to the older man. It was the next best thing to spending the night asleep in his arms.

Smiling at this thought, Sasuke takes out clean clothes and lays them out on his bed. Glancing at the window to judge the time by the light coming in, Sasuke tugs his sensei's shirt off and folds it. Moving to the head of the bed, he slips the shirt back under his pillow, then turns to get dressed. Whistling a soft, happy tune as he pulls his clothes on, Sasuke thinks ahead to what he thinks is going to happen. He wasn't going to give Kakashi a chance to avoid him. By showing up first thing in the morning, he _had_ to be home. Then, once he had his sensei cornered at home, he'd tie him down with a training schedule. He'd _have_ to see Sasuke several times a week as they worked on Sasuke's chakra control and his use of Chidori.

Grinning, Sasuke sits by the door to pull his shoes on. He had everything worked out perfectly, and his future was already unfolding before his eyes. Everything he'd ever wanted, he saw himself getting. All of it was with Kakashi at his side, their love growing stronger day by day. None of it would be possible without that love. It was Kakashi's love that gave him strength. It was that love that he measured all pleasure and pains, all successes and failures against. That love was his life. Kakashi was his life. Loving Kakashi was the reason he existed. He was here to love Kakashi, and in turn be loved by him.

Pushing to his feet, Sasuke bolts out the door, stopping barely long enough to close the door behind him before pelting off across the village to Kakashi's place. He's so distracted by his imagined future, and his excitement for the new love blooming that he barely noticed the slight breeze that brought the faint smell of approaching rain, or the dull gray of the sky that promised a steady spring rain later that day. Sasuke threw his head back as he ran, enjoying the cool air blowing across his face and ruffling his hair. Suddenly, simple pleasures seemed so much better to him. Everything was brighter, everything was happier and life was once again worth living.

Rounding the last corner, Sasuke sprints in excitement the last several feet to Kakashi's door. As he's lifting his hand to knock, the door opens, and there stands Kakashi looking both surprised and pained to see Sasuke standing at his door. Sasuke doesn't notice the look, too blinded by his love for the older man. Wanting very much to step forward and throw his arms around Kakashi, Sasuke steps back instead, giving him room to step outside if he still wanted to. Part of Sasuke's mind was insisting that Kakashi had been on his way over to see him, so of course he wouldn't still need to come outside. A smaller, quieter and easily ignored part of Sasuke's mind whispers that he's being a fool, Kakashi wasn't happy to see him, and had had no intention of seeking him out.

Kakashi steps out into the miserable morning, closing the door behind him. Bracing himself for what was about to come, Kakashi takes a deep breath and steps away from his door and Sasuke. His heart clenches at the flash of confused pain in Sasuke's eyes, but he squelches the feeling before it can take hold. He'd known this day, when it came, wasn't going to be easy. He just hadn't figured it would come so soon. He'd thought for sure he'd be able to avoid his student for several days at least, giving himself time to prepare a shield around his heart. Sasuke had taken that chance from him by showing up so early in the morning. Kakashi opens his mouth to speak, but before he can even finish drawing breath, Sasuke moves over in front of him and begins speaking quickly, excitedly.

"Sensei! I'm sorry I came over so early, I just wanted to be sure I caught you, in case you were going to train with Naruto again today. I wanted to ask if you'd work with me on my chakra control. I want to be able to use Chidori more than twice a day. Besides, it'd give us some more time together."

The smile on Sasuke's face nearly breaks Kakashi's heart. He'd known this was going to be hard, he just hadn't counted on it being quite _this_ hard. Squelching the pain again before it could take control and weaken his resolve, Kakashi moves again to step past Sasuke, barely glancing down at the boy as he replies.

"I haven't got time for this now, Sasuke. You don't need me for that kind of training, you're more than capable of doing it yourself. And if you can't figure it out on your own, you're not much of a ninja. I've got work to do."

Kakashi tries not to notice how Sasuke's stunned expression slowly crumpled to a pain that made the pain once again rise in him. This time it ripped through his body, not to be denied, leaving him in agony. Unable to suppress the pain, and afraid he's about to break, Kakashi pushes completely past the boy and hurries off down the road, feeling as if he were about to die, and wishing he could. He doesn't look back, and he doesn't pause until he's well away. Leaning against the nearest wall, Kakashi slumps, letting the anguish have its way with his heart. He deserved it, and so much more for what he'd just done to that poor boy. After several minutes, when breathing doesn't hurt quite so much, and he's sure he's gotten his feelings mostly under control, Kakashi pushes away from the wall and heads off for the mission he'd requested the night before.

Sasuke stands, too shocked and hurt by what had just happened to move. He barely breathed. He didn't think. When the first cold drops splashed against his face, mingling with the hot tears already flowing, he doesn't notice. When at last the shock subsides, and the full force of his pain slams into him, Sasuke takes a staggering step backward as a sob rips itself from his throat. Sasuke turns and runs blindly into the rain, trying to outrun the pain and the threatening emptiness of dark despair that had begun to fill his heart and soul.


	9. Chapter 9

Sasuke woke up and lay in the dark. He didn't know why it was so dark at first, until he realized his eyes were closed. His body ached all over and he was wracked with cold shivers while his body also poured sweat. He was confused and it was hard to breathe. Hearing a soft sound coming from his left, he slowly forces his eyes open, then spends a few minutes trying to remember how to move his head. When he's finally able, he turns in the direction of the sound, and finds Sakura sitting in a chair next to the bed he was in, weeping softly. Frowning, Sasuke lets his eyes fall closed again, wondering why Sakura was in his room, and what she was weeping for. These thoughts chase him back down into darkness once more.

Sasuke wakes again an undetermined amount of time later. Nothing seemed to have changed, but it was quiet. Sakura wasn't weeping anymore. Sasuke pushes this thought away as he once again tries to figure out what was going on. There had to be a reason he felt the way he did. There had to be a reason Sakura was weeping. Again, darkness chases the thoughts away. When he comes back to himself once again, there's a subtle shift in the world around him. He doesn't know what's different at first. Slowly it occurs to him that the weeping had begun again. He had almost grasped what had changed when he heard the soft whisper of movement next to him. It took too much effort this time to move his head however, so he just lays there and listens. He wasn't sure what the sound had been, but the weeping didn't cease. The side of the bed shifts under the weight of someone sitting next to him. A hand slides under the blanket that covered him and wrapped around his own clammy hand, the warmth making him want to shiver, but he can't, it takes too much effort.

Mustering what energy he can, Sasuke manages to open his eyes. He wasn't sure why, but he knew he needed to look. He knew he couldn't say anything to Sakura, but maybe if he could look at her it would make a difference. It takes a few moments for his eyes to focus when he does manage to get them open far enough to see, but it's not Sakura he sees sitting next to him. It's not Sakura who was holding his hand and weeping. It was Kakashi. Kakashi was sitting on the edge of his bed, head hanging, shoulders slumped as he weeped. Confusion fills his mind as his eyes droop closed once again. It was Sakura that was sitting next to him, he was sure of that. How did she become Kakashi? Why was he there anyway? Pain grips his chest, nothing like the pain he felt with each weak breath he took. Gasping and groaning in pain, Sasuke barely notices the shift in the bed again as darkness chases him down into nothingness once again.

Sasuke manages to pull himself up out of the dark a few more times, but is always alone after that last encounter. By the time he wakes up more lucid than he had been in a long time, he's already begun to wonder if Kakashi had really been there, or if maybe he'd imagined it. When the doctors arrive and explain that he was in the hospital suffering from a very serious case of pneumonia, Sasuke decides it was likely nothing more than a fever induced dream or maybe even a hallucination. Finding that it hurt too much to even think about, Sasuke pushes all thoughts of Kakashi and his imagined visit from his mind. Exhausted by the short conversation that had brought about the answers to the most pressing of his questions, Sasuke settles back into the bed and lets sleep claim him, happy for the oblivion.

Over the next several days, Sasuke spends more time asleep than awake as his body slowly recovers from the abuse the pneumonia had heaped on it. When he was awake, the only people he saw were the doctors and nurses. Neither of his teammates came to see him, nor did their sensei. When at last the pneumonia passed, leaving him weak but generally well, Sasuke was allowed visitors again. Sakura came then and sat with him, talking of little things. Never anything important, and always in the most soothing voice she could manage. The girl had been talking of training with the hokage to be a medical ninja, and Sasuke was beginning to think that maybe Sakura was right, she had found her calling. Sasuke listens to the girl chatter on for quite a while, finding himself soothed in spite of himself until eventually exhaustion forces him back into sleep. Sasuke woke several more times over the next week to find Sakura there by his side, and somehow it always soothed him, healing the pain in his heart.

Once Sasuke had regained enough of his strength to at last leave the hospital, little changed for Sasuke. Now when Sakura visited him, he was at home in his own bed. As days passed into weeks, Sasuke recovered slowly, getting closer to Sakura than he'd ever been to anyone since his family was killed. He found himself opening up to her, letting the girl see what he'd kept hidden inside for so long, though he never said a word about the heartbreak he'd suffered. The pain that led to her finding him in the forest surrounding Konoha, oblivious to the cold and rain. Sasuke could tell that she'd figured some of it out, but still he wouldn't open up to her about it. She asked questions, but he didn't answer them, and eventually she stopped asking.

While Sasuke recovered, he was replaced by another ninja. When Sakura brought him this news along with a description of the new boy on the team, Sasuke wasn't quite sure how he felt about it. After casually asking how the new team got on after their first mission, his feelings were decided for him.

"Well, Naruto doesn't like him, and he's really angry at Lady Hokage for trying to replace you. I don't think Naruto would get on with anybody, no matter who it is. He doesn't like change I guess. Kakashi-sensei seems to really like him. They talk a lot, and I think he's even helping Sai with his training. To be honest, I don't know what Kakashi-sensei could be helping him with. Sai uses a jutsu that Sensei doesn't know anything about. Anyway, I really like him. I can't wait for you to come back to our team Sasuke, it's not the same without you, but he's so cute it makes it a little easier."

Sasuke tunes out the rest of Sakura's ramblings about his replacement. Feeling jealousy war with anger inside of him, Sasuke thinks about finding this other ninja and getting rid of him. His anger is short-lived however, and quickly replaced by pain. For the first time, he found himself doubting Kakashi. He didn't understand how the man could say he loved him, then push him away like he had, only to replace him with another boy at his earliest convenience. Sasuke realized then, that until that moment, he hadn't given up on winning Kakashi's affections once again. As the last of his hope drained away, he felt himself sinking into a despair even darker than that which had consumed him after his clan was butchered.

Sasuke refused to see anyone for several days after that, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity. Eventually, Sakura's persistence broke through, and he let her resume her visits, though he'd never tell her why it was he'd held her at bay for so long. Instead he turned the subject to her recent training under the fifth hokage to be a medical ninja. Sakura didn't resist the subject change, apparently more than happy to go on and on about the hokage and everything she was learning from the woman.

Time passed and Sasuke regained his strength slowly. Finally the time came when they said he could resume light training, but he'd have to sit out one more mission before they'd let him return to active duty. Sasuke threw himself into his training to keep from thinking about the fact that he was going to be spending time with Kakashi again once he returned to the team. He was thinking about this as he sat on the bench near the gates to the village, talking with Sakura before she departed on her latest mission, the last before his return.

When the rest of the team arrives, Sasuke gets his first look at the boy that took his place on the team, and apparently in Kakashi's heart as well. He instantly disliked him. Sasuke fought to keep his expression neutral as Sakura introduced them. Naruto standing behind Sai and glaring at the other boy didn't help. Sasuke wanted to glare too. Just when he thinks he can keep the neutral expression no more, Kakashi appears behind his team. Whatever he'd been about to say is cut off however when his eyes settle on Sasuke. Feeling his heart breaking all over again, Sasuke refuses to look at Kakashi as he pushes to his feet. Not caring that his pain and misery was written all over his face, he wished his teammates good luck on their mission, bid them farewell, then turned and silently walked off. He thought he felt Kakashi's eyes on him as he walked away, but he didn't turn around to look back at him. Instead he hurried his pace until he arrived home. As he slipped into his room, he wondered, not for the first time, if he was ever going to get the older man out of his heart.


	10. Chapter 10

Time passed slowly, and Sasuke remained in a dark place as he awaited the time his team would return from their last mission without him. Training forgotten, he never left his rooms. He found it hard to care about getting back to complete strength again when his whole world seemed to be crumbling around him. He tried more than once to convince himself that he was no worse off than he was before he found out who Kakashi was, but he never quite believed it. As his thoughts started to turn to the idea of asking Lady Hokage to replace him permanently with Sai and place him on a different team, the day finally came when his team was expected to arrive home. Sitting on the edge of his bed, head hanging, he felt his world closing in around him. This was going to decide it. Whatever was going to happen, was going to happen soon.

Sasuke wasn't even sure being on a new team would be enough. The village was large, but teams of ninja had to be able to work together. There was no guarantee that he'd never see Kakashi again, and the thought of not seeing him made his heart ache. Seeing him hurt, not seeing him hurt. Sasuke was caught on a loop he couldn't find a way out of. Shifting on his bed, he opened his eyes and looked down at Kakashi's shirt, stretched out across his legs. His fingers, shaking with emotion, brush lightly across the fabric then slowly curl, crumpling the shirt in his fist. Squeezing his eyes closed again, Sasuke gives his head a single violent shake. He needed answers, but he didn't know where to look for them when all of his thoughts always turned back to what might have been.

The day passed without Sasuke even noticing. He sat on the edge of his bed, unmoving all day. At some point he'd even managed to clear his mind because thinking just made everything hurt worse. A soft tapping at his door alerted him that someone had arrived, but he couldn't bring himself to care, so he just sat. When the soft tapping came again he figured it was probably Sakura, she never did know when to give up. It was only a heartbeat later that Sasuke heard the soft rattle of his door opening, but still he didn't look up. Thinking that maybe if he didn't acknowledge her, Sakura would figure out he wanted to be alone and just go home. The soft rattle of the door closing again, followed by two muffled taps tells Sasuke that whoever it was, it wasn't Sakura, and they weren't leaving. Sakura always took her shoes off _before_ she entered.

Lifting his head at last, Sasuke's breath catches in his throat when his eyes fall on the one person he never would have expected to see standing in his room. Sasuke blinks, then blinks again, thinking this is another hallucination like the one he had in the hospital, except he no longer had a fever. Pain grips his stomach even as hope fills his heart. At last he allows his gaze to meet Kakashi's, and he gasps at the pain he sees there. In four long strides, Kakashi moves across the room, dropping to his knees in front of Sasuke. Without hesitation Kakashi reaches out, sliding his arms around Sasuke, pressing his face to Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke utters one choked sob and curls himself downward, hugging Kakashi to him as relief floods him. Burying his face in the older man's hair, he breathes deeply of his scent, one he'd never hoped to smell again.

"Sasuke... ah, God, Sasuke I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was a damn fool and I handled everything all wrong. I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner, but I was afraid I'd just make things worse. To be honest, I was afraid you hated me, that you wouldn't want to see me after what I did to you. Fear kept me away. I promise though, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll never be so damn foolish again. I'll never leave your side for as long as I live. Please Sasuke.. please tell me you can forgive me."

Sasuke listens to the confession, feeling all the darkness fleeing him, the emptiness filling with light and love once more. At last his world was righting itself again. Unable to speak, he only tightens his arms around Kakashi and turns his head to rest his cheek against Kakashi's head. He didn't need to speak. Kakashi didn't need to speak. Right now, all they needed to do was hold one another. So much had gone wrong so quickly, but now that it was going right once more, Sasuke didn't even want to think about what had happened. Sasuke only wanted to think about this moment in time, and all the similar moments that would follow it.

Opening his eyes and lifting his head, finally able to speak, Sasuke's gaze strays over the objects sitting next to his door. Kakashi's bag was there with his uniform vest sitting on top of it. The vest was a mess, streaked with dirt. Sasuke smiles for the first time in weeks when he realizes that Kakashi hadn't even bothered going home upon his return, he'd come straight to Sasuke. That told Sasuke more than the confession had. It expressed much more clearly than words ever could just how much Kakashi wanted to be with him.

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke finally speaks. "I love you, Kakashi. I will always love you. Nothing you do could ever change that."

Sasuke feels the tension drain out of Kakashi at his words. Smiling, Sasuke watches the older man until at last Kakashi pulls back just far enough to lift his head, looking up at Sasuke. It's at this moment that Sasuke finally realizes that Kakashi's ever present mask wasn't in place. Stunned, almost unable to breathe, Sasuke lets his gaze drift over Kakashi's face, taking in every little detail. In his imagination he'd always seen Kakashi as the most handsome man ever, and he was pleased to see his imagination was quite accurate. Sliding a hand around to rest on Kakashi's cheek, Sasuke finally slides his gaze back to Kakashi's eyes.

"Your mask...?"

Kakashi smiles then and Sasuke feels his breath catch in his throat as his heart first skips a beat, then begins to thump almost painfully fast in his chest. As handsome as the older man was, when he smiled Kakashi's face lit with a beauty that was almost angelic. Enraptured by Kakashi's smile, Sasuke forgets for a moment to start breathing again, and when Kakashi's hand rests lightly against his cheek in imitation of his own, Sasuke draws a single deep breath, almost a gasp, then resumes breathing once more. If all of his smiles were like this, Sasuke could understand why Kakashi always worse the mask. Part of him wanted to believe that that particular smile was for him alone. Not his usual smile.

"I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with you. You were going to have to see my face eventually, don't you think?" Kakashi's eyes were flashing with amusement at this gentle tease, but quickly grow serious before he continues. "I don't ever want to be separated from you in any way ever again, Sasuke. My mask was just one more barrier between us."

Sasuke nods, unable to speak. He was suddenly feeling so light, he imagined he'd float away if Kakashi wasn't holding him. He'd never suspected that he could feel a happiness like this. He never suspected this kind of happiness even _existed_. Smiling, still a bit stunned, Sasuke decides that this particular level of happiness was new, and it was only for himself and Kakashi. No one else had ever felt like this, and no one else ever would. Drawn from his thoughts by the feel of Kakashi pulling away from him, Sasuke opens his eyes and looks back down at the older man once again. Feeling a blush creep up his cheeks at the amused look he was getting from Kakashi, Sasuke shifts his gaze to the side, unable to keep eye contact. He'd forgotten about Kakashi's shirt stretched across his legs. But now with Kakashi looking up at him, laughter in his eyes, the edge of the shirt in his hands, Sasuke remembered.

"I'd wondered what had happened to this shirt. It never occurred to me that you might have taken it home with you."

"I'm sorry," Sasuke whispers, shifting nervously. "I just... I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to be away from you. This was the next best thing to being with. When I sleep in your shirt, it's almost like I'm sleeping in your arms."

"You don't need to apologize, Sasuke. I don't mind that you have my shirt. I'm just a little surprised. You can keep it, but if I have my way about it, you won't need it ever again, because you _will_ be sleeping in my arms."

Sasuke turns his gaze back to Kakashi's face, automatically searching for the truth of his words in his eyes. Blushing again at the sight of Kakashi's face, no longer hidden behind his mask, Sasuke just nods his head, unable to think of what to say, and unsure of how to speak anyway. As Sasuke watches, Kakashi pulls the shirt out of his lap and tosses it aside then slowly crawls up into the bed, pulling Sasuke down with him. When Kakashi's arms slide around him, pulling him close, Sasuke draws in a shaking breath, wondering for a moment if he was going to cry. He didn't know how to contain this level of happiness. Cuddling himself against Kakashi's chest, Sasuke lets his eyes flutter closed as the lightness returns and carries him away into that happiness.


	11. Chapter 11

Sasuke wakes reluctantly, not wanting to let go of that dream. It was the perfect happy ending he'd wanted for so long, and now knew he'd never have. Rolling to his side and curling up as pain claws at his chest and stomach, Sasuke allows himself to sob quietly, letting the misery out before it broke him. This was the third night in a row he'd had this dream, and each time it seemed to hurt a little more. Now however, it _was_ the day team seven was due back from their mission. Sasuke hoped that would put an end to the dream. Kakashi wouldn't come to him, and nothing was going to change. The last of his hope fades away, crushed under the weight of his despair.

Pain and sobs racking his body, Sasuke curls up into the fetal position, arms wrapped around his knees. Forehead to knees, Sasuke cries until he can't cry anymore. Wrung out and beyond exhausted, Sasuke gladly lets the oblivion of a dreamless sleep claim him. When he wakes again, the first weak rays of sunlight are streaming in through his windows. Still emotionally drained, Sasuke can only lay in his bed staring at the window, letting the day pass as it would, just like he'd been doing for days now.

It occurs to Sasuke that even though his dream wouldn't become reality, after a month, there was a pretty good chance Sakura would come by on her way back in to check on him. Sasuke didn't want to see anyone, this was why he'd taken to staying on his room. To avoid Sakura however, he was going to have to leave his room. Glancing at the weak light coming in the window again, Sasuke decides that now would be the best time to head out. Even if there was anyone out this early, he could easily avoid them. Once he was outside of the village, hiding in the forest that surrounded Konoha would e simplicity itself.

Rolling out of bed, Sasuke grabs the last pair of shorts he'd worn from where he'd dropped them next to his bed. Pulling them on, he heads over to the door, pausing just long enough to pull his shoes on. In the next instant, Sasuke is out the door and running down the deserted road, heading for the gate of the village. Not having seen anyone in the village, Sasuke relaxes once he's stepped through the gates, disappearing into the trees. Jumping up, Sasuke lands on a low-hanging branch on the tree next to him. Not missing a beat, he continues to run, jumping from branch to branch, tree to tree. Winded, Sasuke stops several minutes later and drops down to sit on the branch he was standing on, leaning back to rest against the trunk of the tree. Closing his eyes, Sasuke concentrates on catching his breath, enjoying the distraction intense exercise was brining him.

Sasuke spends the entire day and half of the night running himself to exhaustion through the forest outside the walls of Konoha, then resting until he could do it again. When at last he returned to his room, he found a note from Sakura tucked under the edge of his door waiting for him. Ignoring the note, Sasuke steps over the bit of paper and into his room. collapsing fully clothed into his bed, Sasuke sleeps until first light, and again gets up before the village begins to stir and head back out into the forest for another day of running. Late that night he returned to a second note, and an accompanying flower. Again he stepped over them and into his room. He kept this up for a week, leaving himself to exhausted to dream, and effectively avoiding everyone. Sakura's notes continued and were sometimes accompanied by notes from Naruto as well.

After that first week, things changed abruptly and unexpectedly. His frenzied run through the forest was brought to a sudden stop when he found another ninja standing in his path. Jerking to a stop, he stands nearly panting, looking up slightly into the deep blue eyes of an older boy. The boy wore a leaf headband, but Sasuke wasn't sure he recognized him. A few moment's silent examination triggered a vague memory. This boy was one of the youngest Jounin in the village. Sasuke couldn't remember his name, but at that moment there were other questions on his mind.

"What are you doing?"

"Stopping you. I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on you, but I don't feel like running all day long."

Sasuke is so caught off guard by this answer it takes him a moment to recover and reply. "What? Why the hell are you following me?"

"Your team hasn't seen you in a while, and they were starting to worry. Your sensei asked for my help. He thought he might be why you were avoiding your team."

Sasuke felt his heart clench at the mention of Kakashi. It was the first time in a week he'd felt pain. It was also the first time in a week he'd thought about the older man. Roughly, Sasuke pushes these thoughts aside. He was tired of hurting. He was tired of pining over his sensei. He needed to do something, change everything. It was time to move past all of this and start his life over new. Squaring his shoulders, Sasuke takes a better look at the ninja in front of him, deciding that he was cute enough to be tempting. Letting a small smile curl the corners of his lips upward, Sasuke lets himself relax, waiting until he's caught his breath before speaking again.

"He's the root of it, yeah, but he's not the only reason. I just haven't been feeling sociable. Who are you anyway?"

"I'm Kyousuke, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Kyousuke... I think I've heard of you. You're one of the youngest Jounin in the village. It's nice to meet you too. How do you know Kakashi-sensei?"

"Actually, I don't. He came to me because I'm particularly good at stealth missions."

Sasuke couldn't help but return the grin he was being offered. "Yeah, I noticed that. I could learn something from you."

The laughter his own joke received was a deep rumble that made goose flesh break out on Sasuke's arms, and something low in his stomach clench. Without meaning to or even thinking of it, Sasuke takes a step closer to the older boy, locking his own black eyes on the beautiful deep blue eyes of Kyousuke.

Kyousuke could almost feel the boy's attraction, and as those fathomless black eyes locked on his, he felt himself reacting. He could see the pain behind Sasuke's eyes though, and he had a pretty good idea of what caused that pain. Knowing this allowed Kyousuke to steel his will, holding his attraction to the boy in check. They would be friends, and nothing more. Kyousuke was fine with this. Attraction aside, he liked the boy already.

"I think this is the start of a wonderful friendship, Sasuke."


	12. Chapter 12

Sasuke spent most of the next two weeks with Kyousuke. He was surprised to find himself growing closer and closer to the older boy. For a few nights after that initial meeting, he still returned home to find notes from his teammates, but they abruptly stopped. Sasuke figured his new friend had reported that all was well with Sasuke and advised them to just leave him be for the time being. Sasuke never even mentioned his team to Kyousuke. Sasuke never asked Kyousuke about it, but he was sure that was the case, and he was very appreciative. Their time spent together was spent talking of little things, or getting to know one another. Within the first week, Sasuke had opened up to the older boy and told him more about his past and his future ambitions than he'd ever told anyone before, and it made him feel good. He'd sit and listen as Kyousuke talked about his own family life, equally as tragic as Sasuke's though with a much different outcome. It was then that Sasuke began to feel his affections for the older boy changing. Kyousuke was becoming Sasuke's best friend, and he felt richer and happier for it. As their friendship grew, Sasuke was forced to admit that no matter how attractive Kyousuke might be, Sasuke would never see him as more than a friend. There was only one man he loved, and only one man he would ever love. Then, one afternoon a few days before his 17th birthday, Sasuke heard himself telling Kyousuke everything, and as the burden of his heartache was lessened, he began to feel better than he had since it all began.

"That one dream nearly sucked away my will to live. I could barely live with the pain of what happened, but that dream just seemed to grind it into my heart, only making the wound deeper. Making me hurt that much more. That's why I ran. It was a way to forget for a little while, and to hide from this new reality. And at night when I went home, I was always too exhausted to dream. I just wanted the dream to stop."

"And that's why I found you running through the woods. Listen Sasuke, you know you can't run from your problems forever. They'll always follow you, waiting until you stop. And you certainly can't avoid your team forever, you're a ninja! You need to talk to Kakashi. I know, I know, you're scared. You don't want to be hurt again. You're never going to know, and you're never going to be able to heal completely if you don't face your fears and talk to him. Just tell him how you feel. Obviously he still cares, or he wouldn't have sent me. Think about it."

"I don't know if I can, Kyousuke. Everything was so dark, and I felt so alone... I don't want to go back into that darkness again."

"You won't Sasuke. Even if he does hurt you again, which I don't think he will, I'll be here for you. I like you Sasuke, and if you'll let me, I'll help you any way I can. That includes holding a light so you can find your way back out of those dark places."

Sasuke stops walking and moves over to a tree, leaning his forehead against it. Eyes closed, he thinks over everything his friend has just told him. Hands curling into tight fists, he lifts them to rest against the tree on either side of his head. He heard Kyousuke move up behind him, but he didn't move. Taking a deep breath, he lets it out in a tired sigh. He doesn't turn around, but he does open his eyes to stare unseeing at the tree when he finally answers.

"Kyousuke... I love him. Ah, God, I love him so much it hurts! I can't imagine my life without him in it. Without him I don't even have a life. But, I don't think he wants me. I don't think he wants to be a part of my life as anything more than my sensei. How am I supposed to live with that?"

Kyousuke stands silent behind Sasuke for several heartbeats, thinking carefully about his reply before he speaks. He honestly did think that Kakashi loved Sasuke, and that it would just take a little determination on Sasuke's part to break through that reluctance. Kyousuke couldn't bring himself to say that however. He didn't want to be the cause of any more pain for his new friend. He wasn't willing to let Sasuke give up without a fight, though. Gently gripping Sasuke's shoulders, he turns him away from the tree and holding his gaze firmly, to be sure he listened.

"Sasuke, listen to me. If you never face this, you'll always hurt for not knowing. If you do talk to him, and he does tell you he doesn't love you like that, yes, you will hurt. Eventually though, you'll heal. It may not feel like it at the time, but you will. You'll move on and fall in love again. But, what if you're wrong? What if Kakashi does love you, but he's just scared as well? Will you be satisfied with never knowing? Will you be able to live with your decision if your decision ends your chance for love with the man you love most in the world?"

Sasuke looks into Kyousuke's eyes. He found himself blinking back tears that were suddenly threatening again. He knew the advice was good, but he just didn't know if he was strong enough. When Kyousuke's arms slide around him, Sasuke leans into his friend and lets go his tight hold on the tears. He hadn't cried since the last time he's dreamed of Kakashi, but it felt good to let it out now. Weeping silently, Sasuke grasps at Kyousuke. When the last of his tears have dried, Sasuke steps back from Kyousuke and looks up at his friend with tired, red rimmed eyes. Emotionally and physically drained, Sasuke couldn't come up with the right words for several minutes, but Kyousuke stood silent, giving Sasuke the time he needed.

"Thank you, Kyousuke. For everything. I need to think though. There's just so much... I just need to work through it all."

"Of course Sasuke, I know that. You go home and sleep. Let yourself have one night of sleep before you think about it. I have a minor mission, and won't be back until your birthday. Meet me out at the training field around noon and I'll have your birthday present for you. You can make your decision what you want to do then."

Sasuke only nods at this, suddenly too tired to even speak. All he could think about was going to his bed and thinking for a day or two. He needed all of his energy just to get him there. Giving Kyousuke a weak smile, Sasuke turns and headed back into the village leaving his friend to watch him go, unaware of the look of concern Kyousuke's face now showed.


	13. Chapter 13

Sasuke spent the next few days wandering the village and the surrounding forest so deep in thought, the world around him might as well not exist. No one approached the boy, the look of intense concentration keeping them all at bay. All but one. One person followed Sasuke at a discreet distance, watching him with longing eyes. Few people noticed that Kakashi was following his student, and even fewer realized _why_ he was following him around like a lost puppy. Those that did only smiled and wished the ninja well in their hearts as he moved on.

When his birthday arrived, Sasuke was no closer to a decision than he had been three days before. Fear still held him back, and no matter how much anger he threw at that fear, he couldn't break past it. Shoulders rounded in defeat, Sasuke sets out for the training field to meet his friend, thinking and hoping that Kyousuke would have the answer for how Sasuke was to break past that fear so he could make a clear decision.

Arriving at the training field, Sasuke looks around for his friend, and, not seeing him, moves to lean against a nearby tree. He had no doubt Kyousuke would arrive, so he planned on using the free time until he did arrive to replay for the hundredth time everything Kyousuke had said to him. A rustle from a tree not far from where he stood drew him from his thoughts. Turning as a smile starts to form, he speaks before he even looks to where the sound had come from.

"You're late! I should've kn..."

Sasuke's words cut off abruptly as his eyes settle on the one in the tree. It wasn't Kyousuke as he'd expected, it was Kakashi. Feeling his heart begin to thump painfully in his chest, Sasuke stares up at his sensei, shock keeping him silent and rooted to the spot he stood in. Part of his mind screamed for him to run, he didn't want to talk to Kakashi because he didn't want to be hurt again. Another, slightly louder part of his mind insisted he should move closer to the older man, give him another chance. He did neither as he still couldn't make his body obey.

Kakashi stared down from the tree, watching the play of emotion over Sasuke's face, feeling his heart breaking again with the knowledge that he was the cause of this. He doesn't speak however, doesn't try to make it right, because he doesn't know how. For all that Kakashi knew, he knew very little about situations like this. He'd never been in love before. While he had done stupid things he regretted in the past, he'd never done something _this_ stupid. He'd never hurt anyone into the depths of their soul. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi comes to a decision. They couldn't just sit staring at one another, he had to say something.

"Happy birthday, Sasuke. I wanted to give you something for your birthday, but I wasn't sure what."

Sasuke blinks at the sound of Kakashi's voice, and finally feels himself able to move again. The words, not anything Sasuke would have expected, further relax him. Almost before he had a chance to think, Sasuke found himself climbing the tree and kneeling on the branch in front of the older man. He can only look longingly at him. Then, as if from a distance, Sasuke hears his own voice, and feels himself moving to sit, straddling Kakashi's lap.

"There's only one thing I want for my birthday."

Leaning forward slowly, Sasuke lifts a hand, hooking a finger in the top of Kakashi's mask. When he meets no resistance, he slowly tugs the mask down as he leans closer. Eyes closing automatically, Sasuke never sees Kakashi's face, not that he'd been trying to see his face. It was the furthest thing from his mind at that moment. When their lips met, the entire world seemed to recede. Feeling himself flush, Sasuke moves himself closer to Kakashi, hands resting on the older man's shoulders. There is no hesitation at all from Kakashi. From the moment their lips met, he was returning Sasuke's kiss.

Feeling Kakashi's hands resting lightly on his sides just above his hips, Sasuke begins to feel all is right in the world again. As warm tears slip out from under closed eyelids, Sasuke begins to feel his first doubt. This was enough to open the door completely to his fears. Jerking back to end the kiss, Sasuke lets his head drop forward, his tears falling quickly now, leaving a small wet spot on the leg of his shorts. His mind once again begins to scream for him to run before Kakashi has a chance to speak and hurt him again. He sits tensely in the older man's lap for only a few heartbeats longer before giving in to the impulse to run. Jumping from the tree, he lands next to a very stunned Naruto. In the passion of that first kiss, neither had heard the other boy approach. Barely glancing at Naruto, Sasuke runs from the training field, leaving Kakashi stunned, confused, and a little hurt. Also leaving the older man to deal with the explanations to Naruto.

Just before he moves out of hearing distance, he hears Naruto yell, "What did you do to Sasuke, Sensei!?"


	14. Chapter 14

It was early in the evening, the sun nearly completely set by the time Kyousuke found Sasuke. Settling himself next to his friend, he scans the rooftops with Sasuke, remaining silent until the other boy was ready to talk. Sasuke had already had several hours to collect his thoughts, but the fact that Kyousuke could still see the soft glimmer of tears on his cheeks told him that his thoughts were probably still jumbled. After several minutes of unbroken silence, Kyousuke reaches over and places a comforting hand on Sasuke's shoulder. This seemed to be the key to opening the door between them. Head hanging, Sasuke sighs deeply before finally speaking.

"I messed that one up so bad. I let instinct guide me at first." Sasuke pauses here, lifting a hand to brush fingertips over his lips, a dreamy look in his eyes. "I can still taste him on my lips. I feel the warmth and the pressure of his lips against mine. That kiss was everything I'd hoped it would be. He didn't resist it either! There was no hesitation, he wanted it as much as I did, I could tell. But my fear got the better of me in the end. Damn it! He'll probably have second thoughts again now because of what I did. I'm such an idiot!"

Kyousuke remains silent for a long time after this confession, giving Sasuke time to regain his composure, and giving himself enough time to really think about it. His friend was at a very critical turning point, and the wrong word from Kyousuke could ruin it all. He wanted nothing more than to see his new friend happy. Choosing his words carefully, he turns and looks at Sasuke.

"I saw what happened, I was watching. I think you're being too hard on yourself, and I don't think you're giving Kakashi enough credit." Kyousuke pauses for a moment, letting Sasuke think about what he'd said before he continued. "After you left, Kakashi had to deal with Naruto, but, once your teammate was gone, he was free to express his own feelings. Sasuke, he's just as heartbroken as you are. He's blaming himself for what happened today. He thinks you left because of what he did before. Not because you're scared it will happen again, but because you're angry. He thinks you hate him."

Sasuke remains silent. Eventually Kyousuke turns his gaze back out over the village. Now completely dark, the faint moonlight and the flicker of lights from open windows revealing the deserted village. Most people were home tending to their lives now. Ninjas were out on missions. Life went on as it always had, unaware and uncaring of the struggle of one young ninja, and the man that loved him. Taking a deep breath, Kyousuke stands and looks down at Sasuke.

"Think about what I said, and listen to your heart, it won't lead you wrong. Go talk to Kakashi. Give him the chance to tell you what he told the trees around the training field."

Without waiting for a reply, Kyousuke jumps down from Sasuke's roof and disappears into the night. Sasuke barely noticed his friend's departure. Kyousuke's words ringing in his ears, Sasuke lays back on the roof and stares up at the twinkling stars. His fear still had a grip on him, but sadness, and a desire to experience again what he had that one night he'd slept in Kakashi's arms, was slowly driving that fear away. With the absence of fear came a determination Sasuke was more familiar with. He was going to be a little scared until he heard once and for all how Kakashi felt, but that fear wasn't going to become all consuming again. He wasn't going to let that fear dictate his actions any longer.

Sitting up, then pushing to his feet, Sasuke looks down to the road below. No one was out moving through the village, so there was little to see. Turning his head, Sasuke looks in the direction of the training field, his lips beginning to tingle with the memory of his first kiss again. As he turns his head to look in the direction of Kakashi's, Sasuke's fingers brush lightly over his lips again. Dropping his hand back to his side, Sasuke smiles and jumps down to the ground.

No sooner had his feet hit the ground, than he was off. Dodging between buildings, making turns blindly at full speed, he finds himself at Kakashi's front door before he knows it. Suddenly nervous, he hangs back, chewing on his bottom lip, looking at the warm glow in the window that told him the older man was home. Drawing a deep breath to steel his nerves much as he had once before in this same spot, Sasuke steps up to the door. He lifts his hand to knock, but before he can even move his arm forward, the door opens. Lifting his head slowly, Sasuke finds himself looking at Kakashi, standing silhouetted in the doorway. Sasuke opens his mouth to say something, but finds he doesn't know what to say.

Kakashi steps back from the door, and without even needing to think about it, Sasuke steps forward into the room. Closing his eyes for a moment, Sasuke concentrates on keeping his breathing normal even as his heart races. He opens his eyes again when he hears the door close behind him. Taking one last deep breath, Sasuke turns and lifts his gaze to Kakashi's face. Catching his breath and holding it for a moment, Sasuke lifts a hand to rest over his rapidly beating heart. It was almost like his dream. Almost. Kakashi didn't have his mask on, but the look in his eyes was very different.

Sasuke's first thought, surprisingly wasn't for Kakashi's appearance. His first thought was for their earlier kiss. At that moment, Sasuke wanted nothing more than to step into Kakashi's arms and kiss him again. Sasuke manages with some difficulty to push this desire aside for the time being. He'd come to _talk_ to Kakashi, anything else could wait until they'd worked some things out. With this determination made, Sasuke is finally able to concentrate on Kakashi's face, really seeing him now. Sasuke finds he can't remember what Kakashi had looked like in his dream, but he doesn't care because he'd much rather have this reality. Pushing these thoughts aside, Sasuke decides it would be best to put some distance between himself and the older man if he wanted to be able to think clearly.


	15. Chapter 15

Sasuke turns and moves deliberately across the room. Turning, he sits on the edge of Kakashi's bed. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke hoped the distance would make it easier for the two of them to talk. When Kakashi moves to sit on the chair at his desk, Sasuke figures the older man has anticipated and understood Sasuke's need for distance, and maybe he felt the same way. Sitting with his hands in his lap, Sasuke stares across the room at Kakashi. He could see that he wasn't the only one that was nervous, and it helped him to relax some. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke closes his eyes briefly to gather his thoughts before he speaks.

"We need to talk. We've got to work through what happened, we've run from it long enough. Let me start by apologizing for running away the way I did this afternoon, I was scared and I let that fear control my actions. I won't do that again."

"You don't have to apologize Sasuke, I understand completely why you did it. I understood then. Part of me expected it, as I brought this on myself after the way I acted. I honestly couldn't expect you to feel any other way after what I did to you."

Kakashi lets his head drop forward, shame written over every line of his body. Sasuke, who'd been leaning forward unconsciously to hear the nearly whispered words, sits back looking at Kakashi in surprise. He wasn't surprised by the older man's words, or even his feelings. Sasuke was more taken aback by the _depth_ of those feelings, the strength of his reaction. Sasuke had always assumed that Kakashi had meant to do what he'd done, and perhaps was no feeling regret. But this level of shame made it seem more likely that Kakashi had known all along what he was doing was wrong, a lie. Sasuke forces himself to continue. He needed to get all of his feelings out into the open. There were to be no secrets from now on.

"That morning, when you were so cold to me... I was shocked. I was confused. More than anything, I was hurt. It crushed my soul to hear your words and to watch you walk away. I felt part of myself die at that moment. I honestly didn't think I'd recover. I thought the rest of me would die slowly, bit by bit after that. And I was fine with that. Without you, I didn't want to live. I had no reason to.

"When I was in the hospital, I had a dream that you'd come to me. You sat on the edge of my bed, you held my hand, and you wept for me. When I got out of the hospital, that dream haunted me. I didn't know why you would weep for me. Deep in my heart, I thought it was regret that made you weep. That feeling, and the support of Sakura is what kept me going. In my heart, I felt certain I'd win you back some day. My mind shied from these thoughts however. I was scared of feeling that pain again. I didn't think I could survive it again, and I didn't think I'd want to even try. Then I saw you again just before your last mission."

Sasuke pauses, head down for a moment as he tries to find the words to express what he'd felt that day. "You looked different. You looked hurt, scared, confused, embarrassed, and to my eyes... you didn't look happy to see me. I knew then that Sakura was right about you and Sai. I'd been replaced. It was agony for me, but I knew I had to accept it. Then the dream started. I was dreaming of the team's return from that mission. You'd come to me, apologizing, telling me you loved me. And everything would be right again, until I woke up. With wakefulness came that agony of a broken heart. I thought for a time that I was going to go crazy. There was just enough left in me to not let that happen though. The last time I had that dream was the night before your return. That's when I started running. I didn't want to be home to see my dream not become a reality. I couldn't handle that, and I knew it."

Sasuke falls silent after this unusually long speech. Everything out, he felt lighter, but also wrung out emotionally. Lifting his hands, he absently scrubs tears from his face, not caring that fresh tears took their place instantly. He sits looking at the defeated slump of Kakashi's shoulders, head still hanging. He didn't say anything to the older man however, allowing him as much time as he needed to gather his thoughts. When Kakashi does finally raise his head, Sasuke feels an icy fist of pain close around his heart, his breath catching in his throat. Kakashi sat look at Sasuke, agony raw on his face, tears slowing steadily. However, when he spoke, his voice was as clear and steady as it had always been.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I knew what I was doing was hurting you, but I never anticipated that it would hurt you that much. I thought if I put a stop to it when I did, it would save us both so much more pain later. I was over-thinking everything. I was anticipating people's reactions to our being in love, and I stupidly let that decide for me what I should do. I should have listened to my heart. By the time I'd figured that out, I thought it was too late. I couldn't find you. When Sakura came to me and told me where you were, I knew it was because of me, and I was so ashamed. I let that shame keep me away when I should have been with you, taking care of you. Then, when I did come to you, it only made things worse. They wouldn't allow any visitors after that. I thought it was for the best then, but I know now it was just an excuse for me to not have to face up to what I had caused."

Sasuke listens raptly as Kakashi speaks, taking in every single word, and feeling the weight on his heart lightening with each sentence. Relief left him giddy, but fear hadn't yet departed. There was still so much that needed to be cleared up, but Sasuke could feel hope awakening in him once again. He's considering his next words when something clicks into place in his mind. Head jerking up once more, he looks across the room at Kakashi who sat with his head bowed once again.

"Wait... that... that wasn't a dream? You were there? You held my hand and wept for me? I really did mean that much to you?"

Kakashi doesn't speak, only nods his head weakly. Sasuke feels his love burst open in his chest, sending a warm flush all through his body. At that moment, everything else was forgotten. Kakashi loved him! But, just as quickly as that warmth and happiness spread, cold dread speared his heart and filled him until he felt goosebumps rise all over his body. That night had been a few months before, and Sai had come into the picture since then. Sai had taken his place in Kakashi's heart. A small part of Sasuke's mind insisted this wasn't true. Looking across the room and seeing the obvious signs of pain, there could be no way Kakashi loved anyone other than Sasuke. Mustering his courage, Sasuke makes himself ask, bracing for the answer.

"What about Sai?"

Kakashi lifts his head briefly to look across the room in confusion. His eyes lock on Sasuke's for a moment, speaking volumes before he drops his head again. "What about him?"

"Sakura told me that the two of you had gotten very close. He replaced me on the team, but did he also replace me in your heart?"

Kakashi lifts his head once more, giving Sasuke another view of the agony he was in. Now however, much of the confusion had departed leaving a sharp certainty in it's place. "Never. No one could ever take your place. I would never want anyone to take your place. I love you Sasuke, you and no other. Always. Forever. Period."

This was all Sasuke needed. The last of his fear and doubts were washed away under a wave of love. Getting up from the bed, he moves quickly across the room. Dropping to his knees in front of Kakashi, he sees a brief flash of relief and hope in Kakashi's eyes before he leans in and wraps his arms around his waist, face buried against the older man's stomach. He clings tightly to Kakashi for several moments before he feels the older man's arms slide around him as he leaned over, holding him tightly. Hearing a single choked sob before Kakashi nuzzles his face into his hair, Sasuke knows it's finally over. All the days of pain were gone, as if they'd never happened. From this point on, he knew his life would know only happiness. And as it occurs to him that they were in a position exactly opposite that that of his dream, Sasuke smiles and murmurs, "I love you, Kakashi."


	16. Chapter 16

Sasuke and Kakashi spent the whole night talking. Neither of them noticed the passage of time as they each purged the pain that had gripped them for so long. Finally, just before sunrise, Kakashi laid down and Sasuke sat on the edge of the bed, holding his hand and watching sleep claim him. Glancing at the window, Sasuke sighs quietly. He knew he had one more thing he needed to do, one last thing that needed to be said, but he didn't want to leave Kakashi's side. Thinking that he'd have the rest of his life to spend with Kakashi, Sasuke makes himself get up and move silently across the room. Pulling on his shoes, Sasuke glances back at the sleeping form of the one he loved one last time before slipping out the door.

Stopping just long enough to draw a single deep breath, Sasuke smiles before setting off. At first he wasn't quite sure where to go, then as the first bits of color touch the horizon, he remembered something he'd learned a month before. Smiling wider, Sasuke changes directions and heads for the wall that surrounds the village. Coming to the wall, he looks in both directions, then sets off to his left, skirting the bottom of the wall. When he comes to a deep gouge the wall had suffered when when it was erected, Sasuke looks up to the top of the wall. Unable to see anything, he concentrates chakra in the bottom of his feet and hurries up the side of the wall. Once he reaches the top, he steps over to the dark figure that stood, watching the sun rise.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Well, I didn't really. But this was the first place I thought to look. I remembered you told me this was your favorite place in the village. Then I remembered you said when something was bothering you, you'd come out here to watch the sun rise."

Kyousuke nods, then lets his head hang forward for a moment. His shoulders hunch for an instant, then square once more as he lifts his head. Taking a deep breath, he lets it out on a sigh before turning to face Sasuke, though he's careful to keep himself hidden in the shadows. Studying Sasuke, he gets a pretty good idea part of what had brought his friend looking for him so early. A sad smile touching the corners of his mouth, Kyousuke clasps his hands behind his back before speaking to Sasuke again.

"So, you've found me. What did you need?"

"Well, I wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted last night. I didn't mean to be so cold to you, but I was scared, and I guess I didn't want to hear what you were saying. Anyway, you didn't deserve to be treated that way."

"That's ok Sasuke, I understood. I wasn't going to hold it against you."

"Good, I'm glad. I'd hate to lose your friendship. You're the best friend I have."

"Yeah? What about Kakashi?"

Sasuke chuckles at this and shakes his head as he replies, "That's different, and you know it!"

"Yeah, I suppose I do."

"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. I took your advice and talked to him. I got everything out in the open, off my chest, out of my heart. We talked all night actually. I feel kind of silly now, running in fear of what might happen, and because of that, I was running from what I wanted to happen!"

"Sounds kind of like what I said, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes, I know that. You were right all along. I only wish I'd come to my senses and listened to you sooner. But thank you for being there for me. Thank you for not giving up when I wouldn't listen because I was too scared. Thank you for being my friend. Just, thank you for everything!"

"You don't have to thank me Sasuke, that's what friends do. But, you're welcome. So, what's next?"

"Well, the Chunin Exams are next month, so Kakashi is going to work with me like he did the first time I took the exam. I'm going to make Chunin this time, and when I do, I'm going to move in with him. Once he's no longer officially my sensei, no one can have any objections to our being together. Not that we care anymore what other people think."

"Well good for you! I'm happy for both of you. Just think, all of this came about because of a little hero worship! Anyway if you ever want some company besides Kakashi, just let me know. I'd love to train with you. I have a feeling you'd give me a hell of a workout!"

"You've got it! Anyway, I wanna get back to Kakashi's in case he wakes up. I didn't tell him I was leaving. I'll leave you to your thoughts and your sunrise. Thanks again, Kyousuke!"

Without waiting for a reply, Sasuke slips over the edge of the wall and is gone. Kyousuke stares at the spot he'd been standing in for a few moments, then turns back to face the rosy glow of the rising sun. Wiping tears from his cheeks, Kyousuke smiles widely and draws in a deep breath, letting it out in a contented sigh that was laced with the slightest trace of sadness. As he watches the sun finish clearing the horizon, Kyousuke thinks of his past, and the memories his new friend had brought to the surface. Turning away from the sun, Kyousuke climbs down the wall and heads for his room, still smiling.

"Your brother would be so proud of the man you've become, Sasuke." Sighing one last time, Kyousuke sets off in a run, smiling as he thinks, _Life will never be dull with a friend like you, Sasuke._

* * *

**AN:** So ends my first installment of Hero Worship. I hope you all enjoyed my story as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you everyone for your comments and for reading my story.

Thursday, keeping with the same update schedule I'll begin posting the sequel/spin-off of this story, Hero Worship: Then & Now. While this story will center around Kyousuke and a character I won't name so as not to ruin the story, Sasuke and Kakashi do play big roles in the story. (Bigger than I planned. They're pushy! hehe) Also questions that were raised in this story will be answered in the next. (For instance, many people were wondering who was following Sasuke when he left Kakashi's that first morning. That question is answered in the second story.)

So, again, thanks for reading my story! :)


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